Princess Kennedy: Boys Suck!

 It seems like an entire decade since I sat down at the computer to write my last article. I’m actually surprised I haven’t suffered some kind of alcohol-related syndrome from my traveling to pride festivals around the country. Speaking of which, how fun was SLC pride this year?! Even in the torrential down pour and gale-force winds SLUG somehow managed to capture third place for our awesome float. WE’RE NUMBER THREE! Thank you to all that came out to help decorate and brave the elements of Hurricane Kennedy on your bikes. If I may say so myself, I looked awesome on the cab of the semi in my bikini. Thank God there were pictures to help me remember in my vodka-ecstasy-Lortab haze.  On the same note, thank you to DJ/DC and the Dance Evolution crew for an amazing birthday party at Edge.

As I mentioned last issue,  next year I’ll be turning 40.  I’ve been confronted with numerous anxieties since coming clean about my age. One major realization is that I was just 20, which means that 60 is right around the corner! Along with this, I’m faced with the daunting question, am I ever going to settle down? Not likely. 

My friend Brendon––who plays guitar in my band Tards and also shares the stage with Peaches––made me face this when they were here for their amazing show at In the Venue. I realized I look for alternate relationships in strange ways. If you ask me if I’m ‘seeing’ anyone my automatic comeback is “God no.” Instead, I marry myself to things like my bands and my jobs. It’s obviously not a commitment issue. It’s mostly because my taste in boys SUCKS. My longest relationship was with a boy who worked as a hooker and my last was a porn star (which is a lot more glamorous sounding than it is in reality). Because of all that damage, I fall for these unattainable straight boys that offer such things as creativity (watch out Adam Dorobiala) and end up having hot, anonymous sex that never leads anywhere … go figure.  I want to be secure in the fact that I’ve gone this long, but the reality is I’ll end up relegated to being caught by the paps giving blow jobs to Mr. Stud in bar bathrooms for the rest of my life. 

One evening after the club, my good friend DJ Justin Strange brought me to a house party where I met a cool couple whose relationship immediately intrigued me––a twosome who play off and inspire each other to that ‘next level.’ You might know James and Jessica Glines from their Thursday after Gallivan parties at Monks last summer. They’re also the masterminds behind the world famous Jessica Something Jewish, G Elect Records and the hugely successful dance party Shake and Pop. 

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Comments on this article

Posted on June 23, 2010 by anonymous

there is such thing as PALE RED, bitch.

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