Dear Dickheads
Issue 236 / August 2008 More from this Issue
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Dear Dickheads,
I find it so interesting how Utah's sub andcountercultures so closely mimicthe very mainstream culture they aim toresist and rebel against.Utah's scenes are notoriouslyimpossible to infiltrate, and that elitismand exclusivity is exactly what keeps thecycle going-when you're on the outsidejealously peering in, you bitterly hateon the snobs not accepting you; onceon the inside yourself, you become theenvied one who rejects others ... andlikes it.
The make-up of each subculture hereholds an eerie resemblance to theMormon culture that makes up Utah'smainstream: there are the hard-coreinsiders who only associate with otherscenesters and scoff and those withdifferent beliefs as them; there are thosewho engage in just enough activity to beassociated with the scene, but do theirown thing when it suits them; and there'sthe "investigator"-trying to fit in, but notreally believing in it yet.
The attitude of most of the alternativesocial scenes here, whether consciousor otherwise, is, "This is what clotheswe wear. This is what music we listento, what people we associate with,where we socialize. If you too choose toaccept all these things-not which onesare fitting for you, but all these things-then you are accepted here. It is all ornothing. If not all, you don't belong andyou are not welcome here."This whole phenomenon gets the samereaction the Mormon community gets-those on the outside are resentful andjudgmental, feeling their only choice is tojoin or be lonely.
There's got to be a way out of thiscycle. Sometimes I think it's hardto meet people in Utah. But I thinkit's about way more than just findingsomeone to go out with on theweekends. I want to feel that I belongto something that is meaningful tome. A community of people similar tomyself. Where I can go and belong. It'sa strong concept. I just wonder how Ican do this, and we as a community cando this, without it being at the expenseand exclusion of someone else.
-Nellie Stone
Dear Nellie Bottom,
I'm guessing that the reason yousubmitted this sad, whiney littleabortion of developed rhetoric, andsent it to Dear Dickheads at SLUGMagazine, is because you couldn'tbegin to believe in this black andwhite Venn diagram of Salt Lake Citythat you've laid out, and thereforewanted to inspire some witty rebuttalto show to your narrow-minded,dimwit friends who planted thisvision in your head to begin with.First of all, who says alternativesocial scenes? Did you move toSalt Lake and look up 'up andcoming alternative social scenes'on Craigslist? What did you find?'Fixed gear crew! We.hear-t e.e.Cu_mm_ings!' or 'Proponents of ConnorOberst for President!' Did yousubmit a resume for consideration?After rush week at your little urbanscenester gang you probably hadsome head hipster honcho in tightpants and horn rimmed glasses sityou down in a worthiness interviewand excommunicate you from thescene because you didn't haveLoveless on vinyl. Right? Everyonebelongs to some demographicregardless of how markedly it standsout. When you start generalizingabout groups you find yourselfjust as judgmental as those youaccuse. If you want real friends,stop choosing them based on whatclothes they wear, what music theylisten to, what people they associatewith and where they socialize.
I find it so interesting how Utah's sub andcountercultures so closely mimicthe very mainstream culture they aim toresist and rebel against.Utah's scenes are notoriouslyimpossible to infiltrate, and that elitismand exclusivity is exactly what keeps thecycle going-when you're on the outsidejealously peering in, you bitterly hateon the snobs not accepting you; onceon the inside yourself, you become theenvied one who rejects others ... andlikes it.
The make-up of each subculture hereholds an eerie resemblance to theMormon culture that makes up Utah'smainstream: there are the hard-coreinsiders who only associate with otherscenesters and scoff and those withdifferent beliefs as them; there are thosewho engage in just enough activity to beassociated with the scene, but do theirown thing when it suits them; and there'sthe "investigator"-trying to fit in, but notreally believing in it yet.
The attitude of most of the alternativesocial scenes here, whether consciousor otherwise, is, "This is what clotheswe wear. This is what music we listento, what people we associate with,where we socialize. If you too choose toaccept all these things-not which onesare fitting for you, but all these things-then you are accepted here. It is all ornothing. If not all, you don't belong andyou are not welcome here."This whole phenomenon gets the samereaction the Mormon community gets-those on the outside are resentful andjudgmental, feeling their only choice is tojoin or be lonely.
There's got to be a way out of thiscycle. Sometimes I think it's hardto meet people in Utah. But I thinkit's about way more than just findingsomeone to go out with on theweekends. I want to feel that I belongto something that is meaningful tome. A community of people similar tomyself. Where I can go and belong. It'sa strong concept. I just wonder how Ican do this, and we as a community cando this, without it being at the expenseand exclusion of someone else.
-Nellie Stone
Dear Nellie Bottom,
I'm guessing that the reason yousubmitted this sad, whiney littleabortion of developed rhetoric, andsent it to Dear Dickheads at SLUGMagazine, is because you couldn'tbegin to believe in this black andwhite Venn diagram of Salt Lake Citythat you've laid out, and thereforewanted to inspire some witty rebuttalto show to your narrow-minded,dimwit friends who planted thisvision in your head to begin with.First of all, who says alternativesocial scenes? Did you move toSalt Lake and look up 'up andcoming alternative social scenes'on Craigslist? What did you find?'Fixed gear crew! We.hear-t e.e.Cu_mm_ings!' or 'Proponents of ConnorOberst for President!' Did yousubmit a resume for consideration?After rush week at your little urbanscenester gang you probably hadsome head hipster honcho in tightpants and horn rimmed glasses sityou down in a worthiness interviewand excommunicate you from thescene because you didn't haveLoveless on vinyl. Right? Everyonebelongs to some demographicregardless of how markedly it standsout. When you start generalizingabout groups you find yourselfjust as judgmental as those youaccuse. If you want real friends,stop choosing them based on whatclothes they wear, what music theylisten to, what people they associatewith and where they socialize.
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