Dear Dickheads
Issue 239 / November 2008 More from this Issue
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Dear Dickheads,
C'mon Sluggers, are we gonnahave to move to a city that actuallyhas a scene to find some love forour band. You guys should be ontop of this, you should be hangin'all over our jocks. You should haveour ugly faces all over your cover.Is there no room for our brandof Jazz Punk in your cheeky littleclique'? Sorry we don't have anytattoos, sorry we don't wear geekglasses or studded belts. Sorrynone of our players have rippedoff one of your minion's ideasfor a hair style. Sorry we don't fityour preconcieved notion of whatnon-conformity looks like. But arewe really destined to be outcastsamong outcasts? Are you reallygoing to wait for your little sister totell you how much we rock beforeyou attempt to support us?Never even been so far asmentioned by you guys...The Fully Blown
Dear TFB,
Maybe it's time to get a littlemore proactive. Sendingbitchy emails via MySpacedoesn't really count as a goodmarketing tactic. We can'tactually cover you unless you'redoing something that deservescoverage. Ever think of sendingus an album to review? Or eveneasier, show dates for our DailyCalendar? Theretwo simpleways to grace the pages ofSLUG Mag.
xoxo,
SLUG
Dear Dickheads,
Holy moly. Did it take you allfour months since that zine wassubmitted to conjure up thatsparkling little paragraph? 5 full(actually, run-on) sentences! Couldyou just not think of anythingelse clever to say about the othertwo cartoonists? I'm sure there'ssomething else about a hamburgeryou could've said. Next time, lookfor someone with an Abercrombieshirt and a visor on and ask them.They're full of wit too. The sentenceyou used to review my section wasjust sad. Are you really so insecurein your stance onveganism or straight edge thatyou can't see past it to give a fullcompliment?Love,
Robin Banks
Dear Robin,
As you already know, Patriciadoesn't care and didn't wantyou to write, but the rest of usat SLUG love to get letters. Letme remind you of the first rulewhen submitting somethingto SLUG Magnever expectus to say anything nice. If youwanted your ass kissed maybeyou should talk to whoever is incharge of the Arty Awards at CityWeekly. It might be good to giveMike Brown's Leviathan somehealthy competition.
Hugs and Kisses,
SLUG
C'mon Sluggers, are we gonnahave to move to a city that actuallyhas a scene to find some love forour band. You guys should be ontop of this, you should be hangin'all over our jocks. You should haveour ugly faces all over your cover.Is there no room for our brandof Jazz Punk in your cheeky littleclique'? Sorry we don't have anytattoos, sorry we don't wear geekglasses or studded belts. Sorrynone of our players have rippedoff one of your minion's ideasfor a hair style. Sorry we don't fityour preconcieved notion of whatnon-conformity looks like. But arewe really destined to be outcastsamong outcasts? Are you reallygoing to wait for your little sister totell you how much we rock beforeyou attempt to support us?Never even been so far asmentioned by you guys...The Fully Blown
Dear TFB,
Maybe it's time to get a littlemore proactive. Sendingbitchy emails via MySpacedoesn't really count as a goodmarketing tactic. We can'tactually cover you unless you'redoing something that deservescoverage. Ever think of sendingus an album to review? Or eveneasier, show dates for our DailyCalendar? Theretwo simpleways to grace the pages ofSLUG Mag.
xoxo,
SLUG
Dear Dickheads,
Holy moly. Did it take you allfour months since that zine wassubmitted to conjure up thatsparkling little paragraph? 5 full(actually, run-on) sentences! Couldyou just not think of anythingelse clever to say about the othertwo cartoonists? I'm sure there'ssomething else about a hamburgeryou could've said. Next time, lookfor someone with an Abercrombieshirt and a visor on and ask them.They're full of wit too. The sentenceyou used to review my section wasjust sad. Are you really so insecurein your stance onveganism or straight edge thatyou can't see past it to give a fullcompliment?Love,
Robin Banks
Dear Robin,
As you already know, Patriciadoesn't care and didn't wantyou to write, but the rest of usat SLUG love to get letters. Letme remind you of the first rulewhen submitting somethingto SLUG Magnever expectus to say anything nice. If youwanted your ass kissed maybeyou should talk to whoever is incharge of the Arty Awards at CityWeekly. It might be good to giveMike Brown's Leviathan somehealthy competition.
Hugs and Kisses,
SLUG
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