Inversion Trawler: Love Infinity
by Oom
Issue 239 / November 2008 More from this Issue
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I was wrong when I said that nobody in Salt Lake City knows who our cousinTempest is. It turns out that Sci-fi man, being British himself, keeps up on Britishpop culture. Aunt Leona, Tempest, Boo and I took a little trip to the downtownlibrary in search of DVDs for movie night. We came upon Sci-fi man who wasstanding close to a full sized cardboard cutout of Dorothy from The Wizard ofOz and delivering his science fiction spiel to a poor bedraggled woman wearingill-fitting stirrup pants. I approached him saying, "Hey Stewart, this is our cousinfrom London," and motioned toward the trio behind me. I glanced back to seeLeona desperately trying to detour Tempest and Boo down an aisle while loudlywhispering, "Don’t talk to him. PAHLEEEASE don’t talk to him!"
Sci-fi glanced first at me and then at the others. Unexpectedly, he let out a loudgirly scream and called out, "TEMPEST X!" He held a hand out in front of him asif he were about to touch a phantom to see if it was real, and advanced toward thethree girlies in a weird, slow-motion trot. Leona squealed and ran away, Tempeststayed frozen to the spot with a growing look of horror covering her face, and Booburst out laughing, saying, "No way! No, ha ha ha, way!"
In a high-pitched sing-song, Sci-fi man began loudly singing out, "Our love, oh oh,will endure across all space and time." He reached Tempest and set his hand onher shoulder. Tempest stared down at his hand in terror as if it were a tarantula.In his best and most pretentious RP British accent, apparently thinking it wouldimpress our cousin, he continued, "Your song, "Love Infinity," has been my favoriteof the new millennium so far. Number one in the United Kingdom for 13 weeks!"Boo turned to Tempest and laughed out, "That’s your song?"
"Love Infinity"? Ah ha ha, holy turd dip au jus, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve everheard." Tempest shot back defensively, "I didn’t write it. My producers chose itfor me. Stupid people love it and buy it by the lorry load." At that, Sci-fi gaspeddramatically and recoiled, putting the hand, which had been on Tempest’s shoulderto his heart. "Young lady!" he exclaimed, " I am in no way a ‘stupid person.’ I’vepurchased all your singles and albums and have stood fast as a loyal enthusiastof your artistry." Tempest choked on her foot, which was plainly filling her mouth.She attempted to apologize, but got over-flustered and just started to cry. Initially,it came in barely contained sniffles, but very quickly land-slid into full sobbingmeltdown. Her body and whole being went limp and a flood of tears and snotflowed down her face and hands. Boo, Sci-fi and I stood stunned, watching thescene. The more Tempest tried to keep her crying quiet and contained, the louderit got. She was gasping for air between long, drawn-out wails. It was obvious thatthere were issues beyond her interaction with Sci-fi man that were powering thissuper-volcano eruption of emotion. Sci-fi stepped toward her and set his handback upon her shoulder. At that, Tempest surprised us all by hugging him tightlyand burying her face in his shoulder. Suddenly there was Leona, summoned bythe cries of Tempest, flying up the aisle to the rescue, pointing at Sci-fi man andhollering out, "You! You! She does NOT like science fiction and she does NOT haveto like science fiction!"
myspace.com/theinversiontrawler
Sci-fi glanced first at me and then at the others. Unexpectedly, he let out a loudgirly scream and called out, "TEMPEST X!" He held a hand out in front of him asif he were about to touch a phantom to see if it was real, and advanced toward thethree girlies in a weird, slow-motion trot. Leona squealed and ran away, Tempeststayed frozen to the spot with a growing look of horror covering her face, and Booburst out laughing, saying, "No way! No, ha ha ha, way!"
In a high-pitched sing-song, Sci-fi man began loudly singing out, "Our love, oh oh,will endure across all space and time." He reached Tempest and set his hand onher shoulder. Tempest stared down at his hand in terror as if it were a tarantula.In his best and most pretentious RP British accent, apparently thinking it wouldimpress our cousin, he continued, "Your song, "Love Infinity," has been my favoriteof the new millennium so far. Number one in the United Kingdom for 13 weeks!"Boo turned to Tempest and laughed out, "That’s your song?"
"Love Infinity"? Ah ha ha, holy turd dip au jus, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve everheard." Tempest shot back defensively, "I didn’t write it. My producers chose itfor me. Stupid people love it and buy it by the lorry load." At that, Sci-fi gaspeddramatically and recoiled, putting the hand, which had been on Tempest’s shoulderto his heart. "Young lady!" he exclaimed, " I am in no way a ‘stupid person.’ I’vepurchased all your singles and albums and have stood fast as a loyal enthusiastof your artistry." Tempest choked on her foot, which was plainly filling her mouth.She attempted to apologize, but got over-flustered and just started to cry. Initially,it came in barely contained sniffles, but very quickly land-slid into full sobbingmeltdown. Her body and whole being went limp and a flood of tears and snotflowed down her face and hands. Boo, Sci-fi and I stood stunned, watching thescene. The more Tempest tried to keep her crying quiet and contained, the louderit got. She was gasping for air between long, drawn-out wails. It was obvious thatthere were issues beyond her interaction with Sci-fi man that were powering thissuper-volcano eruption of emotion. Sci-fi stepped toward her and set his handback upon her shoulder. At that, Tempest surprised us all by hugging him tightlyand burying her face in his shoulder. Suddenly there was Leona, summoned bythe cries of Tempest, flying up the aisle to the rescue, pointing at Sci-fi man andhollering out, "You! You! She does NOT like science fiction and she does NOT haveto like science fiction!"
myspace.com/theinversiontrawler
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