Dear Dickheads

is there anyway u can tell me the name of AFI mangement company or how i can write to them. i am a single 45 yr old woman . and i am trying to prove to my kids that ur dreams can come true even if u are poor. 2 of my boys love the group AFI well i like them to. i would just like to be able to write to the band. thanks alot trina green Heeeyyyy Trinaaaaa,
R U Serious that u are only 45 yrs young? That is AWESOME! I totally understand your situation. Dreams do come tru. Unfortunately, being a 45 year old single mother with the grammar and spelling of a 3rd grader, there are other dreams you should be concerned about – mainly getting your GED. With that you can go anywhere, hell you probably could become President of the U.S.!!! J/K J/K.

You're 45 years old and still like AFI? More importantly, why did you email us trying to get AFI's contact information? In the time it took you to write your shitty ass letter you could have looked on their myspace page, posted sexy pictures of you with some tight acid wash jean shorts, a crazy midriff and a wild comment such as "thx for the add," "I love your band!!!1111!!1111!111!1!" or .

Just for shits and giggles, what would you have written to the band anyway? "I am a single mother who is 45 years of age who likes your band and dreams can come true oh, and by the way, I am poor?" Yeah. Right. They would soooo sympathize with you. And because they are such sensitive guys they would probably cry at your circumstances while eating some vegan yummies such as carrots, string beans and asparagus.

Finally, do you really want some weak ass pussies to show your kids the wonderments of celebrity status? I can think of a million other whiney bitches that would be better than AFI to show your kids just what the real world is all about: Blink-182, Green Day, Fall Out Boy etc...Just look at these lyrics from AFI's newest album (taken from the song "Summer Shudder"). These lyrics demonstrate the disastrous consequences of tight pants, black clothing and a bad haircut:

"Listen when I say it's real/Real life is undefined/how could you be so missable?/Everything you take makes me more unreal/Real lines go undefined/how could this be so miserable/ blah blah blah cry me a river/I am a pussy/You can see into my soul/blah blah blah"

Dreams do come true! Fucker.

P.S Couldn't you have text messaged me this?