Dear Dickheads,
I have had the splendid misfortune of renting a studio at the positively 4th street building for the last year. I wasn't there much the first 6 months but this last summer I've been practically living there. I've for the most part followed all of the reigning dictator/building manager Hitler/Russ' rules. Our studio sits close to his office so we got special attention. So what if I make my girlfriend scream obscenities while I'm there it's none of his business and how does he know it isn't all part of the "process". Hey Russ I’m 34 y.o. I used to live in that building 17 years ago! I’m not some punk kid who will cowtow to your self-proclaimed dictator status. I'll keep it clean, I'll follow protocol, stay the fuck out of my studio and my business!! When I started hanging out a lot I noticed there was a similarity between a lot of the music I heard through my paper-thin studio wall, I soon learned why. Plagiarism runs rampant in that place! At first I thought I was imagining that that bass line or vocal melody sounded like mine. Then I was convinced various tenants were stealing my stuff, then one night it was proved beyond a shadow of a doubt. I'm working on a new song on the bass, when my girl friend brings dinner I take a break and as I'm eating my fast food I hear something familiar. Some no-talent no ethics ass downstairs is trying to find the chord progression I hadn't even finished writing yet! I picked up my bass and played through the part I thought he was copying. He kept working at it so I played it again; he kept trying for that elusive note. So I started to play the entire song, I stop, all quiet downstairs, I play the part again. Back he goes mapping it out. I said to my girl, "If he figures it out I swear I'm going down there!" Sure enough he found it. I blew up! I went down to the thieving cads studio door and pounded fiercely upon it. A dishwater blond mullet with a cheesy porn-stash answers the door. I told him I just wanted to meet the fan of my song. He of course claimed it was his own written long ago. I said, "Do you need help learning it? I could give you the tablature!" He sheepishly shrugged and closed the door. I would have loved to punch his face but I don't go around writing checks I can't cash. I simply wanted to at least confront one of the many lack-talent fuck-tards that rent at that shit-hole. For those few good bands still there, invest in good soundproofing if you want to keep your stuff original and un-pirated. For all you thieving low lifes! Get Fucked!!! The Idea room is moving out so you will have to resort to actually CREATING your OWN stuff. To steal from another artist is as bad as stealing from the collection basket at church, SHAME on you! SanD

Dear SanD,
That no talent mullet-sporting douche is probably only renting the studio because his mom, who he still lives with, got sick of the bad noise coming from her basement. My guess is he’s probably pretending that is his apartment and bringing fat drunk chicks back to the studio to fuck. Ditch that hole and try going somewhere that isn’t doubling as some loser’s home away from his mom’s couch and his massive porn collection