Beautiful Godzilla: My Chain Hits My Frame When I’m Bangin’ On The Handlebars

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Illustration: Ryan Perkins

I know that, as a cyclist, I’m supposed to love nature and spend the daylight hours outside mountain biking and hugging trees, but give me a fat stack of Tom Hanks movies and every season of 30 Rock on Netflix, and I’ll be happy never seeing the light of day. I only ride bikes ‘cause I hate walking, remember? That being said, movies ABOUT bikes are the cat’s pajamas, the bee’s knees, the fixie’s wooly pubes. Watching Macaframa, Fast Friday, even the FOAD crew’s punk rock edits ( snaps me out of my pixel-induced coma and makes me want to jump on my bike and mash.

Movies have always had a pretty immediate effect on me. My sister and I watched Fast Five (yes, of the Fast and Furious series) at the Megaplex one night, got super pumped, and raced our bikes recklessly through downtown pretending we were Vin Diesel and Paul Walker injected with Nos. It’s probably a good thing I drive a junky car that can’t accelerate … Of course, what usually happens when I get my ass off the couch and on my saddle after getting all psyched on a bike film is that I realize how fucking hot it is outside and that I’ll probably never pop a wheelie bigger than your boyfriend’s boner, so my enthusiasm … droops a bit.

My first venture into bike films, or edits, was when I saw an awesome bike-themed music video to Survivor’s “Eye of The Tiger” by the ladies of Milwaukee’s Pedal Pusher Society. You can see that panty-dropping roll of film over at Ever since, I’ve been scheming and choreographing my own bike music video, which I’ve recently decided HAS to be to M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls,” of course. Right now, only my sister and I are the stars, but I’m willing to let you in on it if you come with a camera crew …

Speaking of bike films, have you seen the trailer for Lucas Brunelle’s Line of Sight?! Go watch it right now at, seriously. Nothing gets me more amped than watching New York bike messengers Pac-Man their way through traffic, and this film has all of that, plus guns and underwater cycling scenes! Brunelle has been filming alleycats around the world with his souped-up helmet cam since the early ‘00s, submitting to the Bicycle Film Fest and posting up on YouTube. Line of Sight shows footage from Brunelle’s camera, and turns the lens back on him to capture all of the crazy misadventures he experiences while attending alleycats around the world. Fortunately for all of us, I’m organizing a screening on Aug. 4! The best part is that the measly $5 we’re charging to watch this super-rad film on the big screen also grants you entry into a frenzied downtown alleycat proceeding, AND your money is going to go to an emergency fund we’re putting together for injured cyclists in the Salt Lake area––which (knock on wood) we’re hoping won’t be needed immediately after the alleycat. For the addy and all the juicy details on the ‘cat, check out the event page on Facebook via Saltcycle. See you there!