Movie Awards a Go-Go

Where in the hell did the time go? It feels like only yesterday Bollywood was invading California’s coastline and a zombie Heath Ledger beat out Robert Downey, Jr. and Brand from The Goonies for Best Supporting Actor. What a year! While 2008 brought an onslaught of cinematic masterpieces including The Love Guru and Mamma Mia!, the Year of the Ox retaliated with the good, the bad, and a retarded Sandra Bullock (Who could possibly be the first actress to win an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year).

The past two months have been bursting with award shows, but the two biggest polar opposite events, the Razzie Awards (March 6th) & the Academy Awards (March 7th) have yet to commence. Below are the nominees (and winners) as foretold to me in my dream by Pee-wee's Playhouse’s Jambi the Genie. Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Hiney Ho bitches!

Please note: While I do not agree with all of Jambi’s predictions (except the Razzie turds), these will be the proclaimed winners … damn you Bullock!

The 30th Annual Razzie Awards Nominations:

Worst Picture
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Old Dogs
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Winner)

Worst Actor
All Three Jonas Brothers – Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience (Winner)
Will Ferrell – Land of the Lost
Steve Martin – Pink Panther 2
Eddie Murphy – Imagine That
John Travolta – Old Dogs

Worst Actress
Beyonce – Obsessed
Sandra Bullock – All About Steve (Winner)
Mylie Cyrus – Hannah Montana: The Movie
Megan Fox – Jennifer’s Body & Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Sarah Jessica Parker – Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Worst Supporting Actor
Billy Ray Cyrus – Hannah Montana: The Movie (Winner)
Hugh Hefner – Miss March
Robert Pattinson – Twilight Saga: New Moon
Jorma Taccone – Land of the Lost
Marlon Wayans – G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Worst Supporting Actress
Candice Bergen – Bride Wars
Ali Larter – Obsessed
Sienna Miller – G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Winner)
Kelly Preston – Old Dogs
Julie White – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Worst Screen Couple
Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers – The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience
Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper – All About Steve (Winner)
Will Ferrell & Any Co-Star, Creature or “Comic Riff” – Land of the Lost
Shia LaBeouf & EITHER Megan Fox OR Any Transformer – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Kristen Stewart & EITHER Robert Pattinson OR Taylor Whatz-His-Fang – Twilight Saga: New Moon

Worst Remake, Rip-off or Sequel
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost (Winner)
Pink Panther 2
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

Worst Director
Michael Bay – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Winner)
Walt Becker – Old Dogs
Brad Silberling – Land of the Lost
Stephen Sommers – G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Phil Traill – All About Steve

Worst Screenplay
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Winner)
Twilight Saga: New Moon

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