Dear Dickheads – January 2012

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Dear Dickheads,
I live in the same neighborhood as your wonderful establishment: Pierpont Avenue. I’m wondering if any of you are also living an episode of Parking Wars, as am I. You see, I’ve been living in the area for over three years now, and didn’t have a car until recently, but now that I have one, I spend more money on parking tickets than I do on fucking gas! I’ve gone to the city and asked them for a parking pass, but apparently they are out of passes for the area, and refuse to let me buy one! How the fuck is that possible?!!! They just expect me to be okay with getting tickets on a daily basis until a pass magically becomes available! And those fucking meter maids are RELENTLESS. It’s like the more tickets they can stick on a windshield, the fatter their chubs get. This is what I suggest if you guys are having to deal with the same bullshit from the parking enforcement retards: let’s join together and call them out on their obviously flawed and corrupt system! Write an article or something! At this rate, my ticket fees are going to surpass my car payment!
Your Comrade in Cars,
Meter Maid Mauler

Dear Meter Maid Mauler,
Unfortunately, the staff of SLUG Magazine has also felt the wrath of those damned meter maids and, on more than one occasion, have been utterly frustrated by the lack of cooperation from the city employees who issue the permits. From our experience, obtaining a permit is about as easy as pulling teeth with a plastic spoon—painful, time-consuming and frustrating.  Their system seems to be broken and backwards, and to get what you want, you’re going to waste hours, maybe even days of your life trying to wade through the bureaucratic bullshit. This doesn’t even account for how pissed off you’ll become when you realize that your tax dollars pay for these incompetent boobs’ salaries.  I’m sure you’ve already browsed through the plethora of forms and instructions on slc.gov about how to obtain a permit, so I won’t even bother telling you to check that garbage out. Maybe it’s time to start an #OccupySLCJusticeCourt movement …
xoxo,
SLUG Mag