Dear Dickheads – August 2012

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Dear Dickheads,
I just would like to comment on peoples comments about cops being fat. [Issue #281, May 2012]
First of all, don’t underestimate the strength or how fast someone is on their weight. Look at pro football players – they are not exactly skinny – are they retarded.
And you know what, is a diet of liquor and meth the answer maybe – I believe that everyone deserves respect – they can kiss my ass.
Firm believer in the law.
Luv always.
Keep up the good work.
P.S. I love donuts.

Dear Lover of the Law (and Donuts),
Do you know what happens to professional football players when they retire? When mandatory training and scheduled practices end, their rock-hard, chiseled physiques quickly turn to jiggly flab, and the health problems roll in. Cardiac arrhythmias, liver failure and strokes are just a few of the common issues seen in former pro players.
I’d rather have a cop with washboard abs save the day if I’m in trouble. I wouldn’t want to worry about bouncing man boobs, or a FUPA squeezed into those navy blue pants, getting in the way of their attempt to protect and serve my perfectly
tight ass.
xoxo,
SLUG Mag


P.S. We like donuts, too, especially when they are coated with meth sprinkles … Keeps the metabolism fast and productivity
levels high.