Dear Dickheads – August 2007

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Dear Dickheads,
I am writing to thank all of the scene people who pulled their resources together and donated their time and money to Marty and Nicki Kastler last month. I’d also like to remind your readers that the driver who hurt our friend is still at large. Keep your eyes and ears open and checkout the vehicle’s profile on helpmarty.com.There is a hefty reward available for any information leading to that fucker’s arrest and/or prosecution. Let’s keep raising money to increase the reward bounty and sustain the Kastlers. Eat a dick,

-Marc Olson

WORD. Let’s name-check a few peeps that should be recognized for their generous effort: nobrow coffee & tea, Piper Down Pub, Jackalope, Wasatch Brewery, Lost Art Tattoo, The Big Deluxe Tattoo, Bar Deluxe, Salt Lake Bike Collective, Blue Plate Diner, KOI Piercing, Alchemy Coffee, Model Citizen, Hektik.org, Slowtrain, Frosty Darling, Ken Sanders Rare Books, Budweiser, Trolley Wing Company, Tom Brickey D.D.S., Club Sound, Stoneground, Pipe Dream, Redlight Books, Mo’s Bar and Grill, all the local bands & DJs that played the benefits and YOU, the people who attended the fundraisers.

AUG. Fundraisers For Marty:

– Sat. Aug 4th Ride for Marty- Liberty Park

– Aug 25th Amber Alert, OstandsforQ, Subrosa Iberis – Addicted Cafe

Dear Dickheads,
I used to write for you, it was many decades ago so I understand if you don’t remember me. I am writing because I just got done watching the new Smashing Pumpkins “Tarantula” video. I have no shame in admitting to really being excited about this new album (although Mr. Corgan is quite offensive with his lethal mixture of pretense and egoism). The video is really cool, it’s shot with style, it’s bold, it’s very tasteful. However, I have seen this all before right in my hometown of Salt Lake City. I don’t know if Mr. Corgan was just going for broke when he arranged this new band (since the old members won’t work with him any longer) by casting a wide array of musicians to back him in some strange cultish fashion. I am also not sure if he has ever seen or heard any of the bands in Salt Lake ever perform, but there is an uncanny resemblance to 2 SLC bands – Pur Bats and Vile Blue Shades. Mr. Corgan has officially stolen the look and stage presence of the Pur Bats lead vocalist, and his over-crowded stage of girls in skirts, regular looking dudes and other various hipsters shaking tambourines, playing guitars and adding multiple backing vocals remind me of the madness behind performances by The Vile Blue Shades. I know this is ridiculous speculation, and the likelihood of Billy ever hiding out at the back of Kilby Court and taking notes on Utah rock bands is very ‘out there’, but the resemblance caught my attention. Besides, I am bored at work and a habitual conspiracy theorist. That is all for now. From New York City, this is Chuck Berrett…signing off.

Hey Chuck- Of course we remember you. You stopped writing for us because you moved to NYC last year although, if we had known about your secret Billy Corgan fetish we probably would have fired you before you left. Is Corgan biting style tips from the SLC local music scene? It is plausible. The Smashing Pumpkin did spend weeks in Zion circa 2003 when he was working on that shitty side project, Zwan. Fuck Corgan and his Smashing Pumpkins; they only made two good records anyway (Gish, Siamese Dream). Oh and Chuck, there is another reason why Billy’s old band mates won’t work with him, his music sucks!