Dear Dickheads – May 2008

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Dear Dickheads,
First, I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my black heart for sending me the subscription to my favorite underground rag.

As you already know, I'm under "lock and key" at the moment. But will be back among the masses very soon.

I can't explain in words how grateful I am to you for keeping me so informed of what's going on in my Great Salt City. So if there is anything I can do for you guys upon my release (such as fetch your coffee, walk your dogs, or beat someone up) please feel free to call on me. *wink wink*

Now on to the true "dickheads" of society. The Utah Department of Corrections prison guards. Who in their right minds decided they want to be a prison guard when they grow up? Yeah, I want to surround myself with the derelicts of society while wearing a holier-than-thou disquise.

O.K. I understand someone needs to do the job. But I gotta wonder about the psychological well being of a person that pursues such a depressing career. Do you really find their jobs satisfying? Freakin' Dickheads!

Sincerely,

C.S.A (The Utah Outlaw)

Dear Utah Outlaw,

We have to wonder about the psychological well-being of someone who would 1) Subscribe to our rag 2) Write to us while behind bars - have you no family or loved ones, man? 3) Find themselves behind those bars. You must have been doing something quite depressing, you crazy rebel. So, what is the man keep you down for? Drugs? Probably drugs. How depressing. It could have been rape and possibly murder as well, but we doubt it. An outlaw like you probably doesn't have the balls to commit a real crime. When (if) they let you out do as a favor and kick your own ass, dumb-ass!

Dear Dickheads,

After completing and submitting my income tax several weeks ago, I have been royally pissed that most of the money I paid the bastards goes to keeping the mighty military machine running. This means I contributed to the killing of innocent Iraqi civilianswhose death toll is probably close to a millionbabies, kids, moms, dads. So we can have a presence in the middle east where the oil is? Gas is at an alltime high, people are hoarding food, and policeman can kill unarmed black people. America seems to be at an alltime low. I don't have answers, but will we be able to apologize to the rest of the world for what we've done? It's things like this that made me a member of the "counter culture" many years ago. What happened to that? Maybe when everyone's comfort zone is affected the apathy will fade and we can get together and figure all this shit out.

Peace out.

Miguel Verde

p.s. who we voting for?

Miguel,

SLUG would like to apologize on behalf of the entire "counter culture." If we'd realized that you were the only person who was unhappy about the way their tax dollars are wasted, we would have pulled some strings. Some people think there should be more cops shooting black people for no reason and some people think there should be universal healthcare, that us employed folk should carry the weight of the poor fucks who can't do their own taxesright? People who sign off with "Peace out" usually want weed legalized. All drugs should be legal. If the streets were paved with crack, then those policeman would be able to kill more people, of any color! Also, what decade's current problems are you referring to? This shit has been going on for a long time, brother.

P.S. We haven't decided which liar to vote for yet. You?

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