When we last left off I was embarking on a thirty-day sobriety plan in honor of my besty, Gorgeous Jared. It was a great way to learn which of my friends actually read my column. The ones that asked me (almost with joy) if my club soda was actually vodka and the ones that were confused as to why I wasn’t drinking. All in all there are a lot of folks in SLC that monitor my party habits. You’re all dying to know how it went, aren’t you? I fucked up three times.