Napalm Flesh: Merry Metalmas!

This week, we are re-running "Twas the Night Before Metalmas"—Bryer Wharton's take on the classic holiday poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas." We also have a few events to read about, and a link to a podcast starring our metal writers. Curl up with a cup of coffee (black, of course), throw on some Slayer, and get ready to take in some holiday cheer from your metal friends at Napalm Flesh.

Last Monday's episode of Soundwaves From the Underground, SLUG Mag's official podcast, featured the entire Napalm Flesh crew discussing some of their favorite metal releases of 2011. Check it out for spirited discussions about Pulling Teeth, War Hungry, Immolation, Protest The Hero, Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats, Thou, and even more stuff guaranteed to blow your bush back. You can listen to the episode here.

On Friday December 23rd, Burt's Tiki Lounge hosts the return of INVDRS. Also on the bill are the recently reunited Draize Method as well as Digna Y Rebelde and Year of the Wolf. You can't beat that bill for $5. The show starts at 9 and Burt's is a 21+ venue.

Looking ahead to next Friday, December 30th, Carol's Cove II hosts Kiss Thiss, Utah's finest Kiss cover band. They're performing with Wanted Man, a tribute to Ratt. Doors open at 7:00 and the $8 gets you through the door, and you must be 21+ to attend.

On Saturday the 31st, Carol's Cove II keeps the cover bands coming with Fuck Like a Beast, a tribute to WASP. Also on the bill are Heartbreak Hangover, who I'm pretty sure are not a tribute band. This show is also $8 and starts at 7:00 as long as you are 21 or older.

Without further ado, here is Bryer Wharton's "The Night Before Metalmas."

Twas the night before Metalmas, when all through Burt’s Tiki



Not a creature was stirring, not even a zombie;



The steel toed boots were hung by the bar without care



In hopes that Satan soon would be there;



The kids were all passed out drunk in their threads,



While visions of pentagrams moshed in their heads;



My wife in her bullet belt, and I in my metal studded leather vest,



Had just settled down for a long brutal rest,



When out in the parking lot there arose such a blast beat,



I sprang from the pit to see what was the hell shook my seat.



Away to the window I jumped with my drum sticks,



I went back to the stage and grabbed the nearest kit.



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Comments on this article

Posted on December 23, 2011 by Debbie

I love that poem written by my favorite son-in-law! How did Lindsey get in the picture? I need a copy.

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