Movie Reviews

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What do you mean it’s time to do another batch of Top 5s for the end of the year?!? Where in the hell did 2011 go? I’m still crying over the loss of Corey Haim, and now with the deaths of Bubba Smith, Sidney Lumet and Randy Savage, the tears may never stop! OK! For the greater good, I’ll buck up and spill the goods … or the terrorists win. Are the cool kids still saying that? While we still have time before the one-year countdown to the end of the world commences (thank you very much, Mayans), here’s the list of 2011’s best and worst movie offerings … so far!

Top 5 Best Films:
1. Drive
2. 50/50
3. J. Edgar
4. Hanna
5. Super 8

Top 5 Worst Films:
1. Jack and Jill
2. Season of the Witch
3. Beastly
4. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
5. Red Riding Hood

Top 5 Documentaries:
1. Project Nim
2. Senna
3. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop
4. Life in a Day
5. The Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Top 5 Best Actors:
1. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (50/50)
2. Leonardo DiCaprio (J. Edgar)
3. George Clooney (The Descendants)
4. Michael Shannon (Take Shelter)
5. Brad Pitt (Moneyball)

Top 5 Best Actresses:
1. Viola Davis (The Help)
2. Anna Kendrick (50/50)
3. Olivia Colman (Tyrannosaur)
4. Naomi Watts (J. Edgar)
5. Elizabeth Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene)

Top 5 Worst Actors:
1. Adam Sandler (Jack and Jill)
2. Russell Brand (Arthur & Hop)
3. Alex Pettyfer (I Am Number Four & Beastly)
4. Christoph Waltz (The Three Musketeers)
5. Patrick Dempsey (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)

Top 5 Worst Actresses:
1. Adam Sandler (Jack and Jill)
2. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)
3. Zoe Saldana (Columbiana)
4. Millia Jovovich (The Three Musketeers)
5. Mary-Kate Olsen (Beastly)

Top 5 Best Remakes/Sequels/Prequels:
1. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
2. Fright Night
3. The Thing
4. Fast Five
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Top 5 Worst Remakes/Sequels/Prequels:
1. Footloose
2. Cars 2
3. The Hangover 2
4. Arthur
5. Scream 4

Top 5 Films to Surface Post-Sundance:
1. Tyrannosaur
2. Hobo with a Shotgun
3. The Music Never Stopped
4. Red State
5. The Guard

Top 5 Reasons to Never Have Kids:
1. Gnomeo & Juliet
2. Zookeeper
3. Dolphin Tale
4. Mr. Popper’s Penguins
5. The Smurfs

Top 5 Reasons to Reverse the Vasectomy:
1. The Muppets
2. Puss in Boots
3. Rango
4. Kung-Fu Panda 2
5. Winnie the Pooh

Top 5 Visual Accomplishments:
1. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
2. Thor
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
4. Super 8
5. Captain America: The First Avenger

Top 5 Remaining Popcorn Movies of 2011:
1. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
2. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
3. Hugo
4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
5. The Darkest Hour

Top 5 Remaining Potential Award-Winning Films of 2011:
1. The Artist
2. Young Adult
3. My Week with Marilyn
4. The Iron Lady
5. We Bought a Zoo

Top 5 Most Anticipated Films of 2012:
1. The Avengers
2. The Dark Knight Rises
3. The Amazing Spider-Man
4. The Expendables 2
5. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Top 5 Movie Quotes:
1. “Caesar is home.” (Rise of the Planet of the Apes)
2. “Oh, no. This is Earth, isn’t it?” (Thor)
3. “It’s coming out of me like lava!” (Bridesmaids)
4. ”Be better than The Gap.” (Crazy, Stupid, Love)
5. “Go fuck yourself.” (X-Men: First Class)

Top 5 Pleasant Surprises:
1. Larry Crowne
2. The Lincoln Lawyer
3. Tower Heist
4. Drive Angry 3D
5. Source Code

Top 5 Disappointments:
1. Real Steel
2. 30 Minutes or Less
3. Sucker Punch
4. Columbiana
5. Bad Teacher

Top 5 Worldwide Money Makers (as of 11/01/11):
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 ($1,327,828,650)
2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon ($1,122,022,953)
3. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides ($1,039,571,802)
4. Kung-Fu Panda 2 ($663,024,542)
5. Fast Five ($626,137,675)