Product Reviews – May 2012

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My Top Off Bottle Opener

Ryker Bike Helmet
Whether cruising the concrete streets of the urban jungle or flowing through the foothills on a deserted trail, this helmet will keep you feeling fly.  Its state-of-the-art ventilation system channels the mellow breezes across your dome and ensures a comfortable ride every time.  The sleek visor also inhibits the sun from blasting your corneas and makes you look faster than dammit.  In addition to a clean exterior, the Ryker packs in all the latest fit technology.  System Integration (SI) micro-dial adjustment allows the rider to quickly customize the way the helmet fits while keeping one hand firmly on the bars.  Should you take a digger and fly into a tree or other obstacle, unique crumple zones and dual-density foam will protect your noggin.  Pick up this essential piece of gear and ride happy. –Sean Zimmerman-Wall

Darn Tough Vermont
¾ Micro Crew Mesh Sock (Run/Bike)
I have somewhat of a weird, hidden super-power:  I have unnaturally strong, razor-sharp toenails.  Think about it like this:  Pretend Wolverine writes for SLUG and they ask him to review some gloves.  Well, that’s what happens to my feet, and I am only slightly exaggerating. The folks at Darn Tough were kind enough to send me some socks to tear to shreds, the way I had torn up millions of other socks before these.  I scoffed at the idea of socks being “guaranteed for life” and pretty much decided to sabotage these by wearing them every day and doing what I do best: merely existing. I wore them on my runs (they are light! And wick away sweat!), I wore them on my rides (again, light!  And breathable! Seamless construction!), I wore them to work (fuck work). I washed them over and over, and while I could see that the 1494 stitches per square inch of Merino wool were definitely damaged, they had held strong for the duration of the review time. The only thing that didn’t hold up was that the color in the heel wore out, but who cares.  Merino wool, people.  These win, and there is something for everyone.  Buy ’em up.  They’re guaranteed 4 LYFE.  –Mary Ryder

My Top Off
Bottle Opener
The Beer Nut and
Why do they make it so damn hard to open a beer?  I have never been able to open one with a lighter, and people always jack openers from my house if they are not already broken. My Top Off solved all of these problems. Anyone with hands can use it, this thing won’t bust and it is just big enough that it won’t find its way into any drunk’s pocket. All you have to do to get your nectar is push down, then lift off and a little magnet on the inside snags the cap. The magnet feature has to be the best—all other bottle openers fling the caps into strange directions only to be found by bare feet the morning after. Nothing brings a hangover into the light like stepping on the business end of a bottle cap in a dark kitchen. You can get yourself one of these solid bottle openers in black or in stainless steel at, but fuck paying for shipping and waiting—grab one from The Beer Nut right in Salt Lake. –Eric Granato

Newcastle and Sapporo Bar Soap
It’s well known that Soaperhero’s Chelsea Petrich is a brewing genius—of lip balms and bar soaps, that is. I’ve been obsessed with her novelty items ever since I bought my first Fruity Pebbles lip balm from her three years ago at Craft Sabbath, and I now own nearly every flavor she’s ever crafted, from Boo-Berry to Pancakes & Syrup. The Newcastle and Sapporo Bar Soaps were my first taste of Soaperhero’s many beer-inspired hygiene products, which have included Hefeweizen, Guinness and Wasatch Brewing Co.’s Polygamy Porter and Devastator in their recipe repertoire. One whiff of the Sapporo Soap and you’re sitting down to some brews and sake at your favorite sushi joint, with notes of rice hitting your saliva glands like a meteor impact on Hoover Dam. I might be a little biased on the Newcastle—it’s already one of my favorite brown ales—but Petrich has somehow combined the scent of chocolate cake and freshly baked bread to create a latherable doppelgänger to this classy English ale that’s got me drinking in the shower. I highly suggest you put down the pint glass and pick up some Soaperhero come bath time—no shards of glass to pick out of your feet and there’s no scent sexier than a high-class brew. –Esther Meroño

Walnut Studios
Frame Cinch
Now, I’m no talented cyclist by any means, but I will say I have gotten pretty good at concealing, crushing and stashing booze while riding. So when I saw this gem from Walnut Studios, it was pretty much the raddest thing to happen to my drinking game since the hip flask. These one-of-a-kind, hand-made leather holders will set you back $24, but for the craft and quality, I will say it’s worth it. I didn’t notice any structural flaws with the leather, but if you want to play it safe, I’d deck out a sturdy six-pack of your own so you don’t have to worry about that ripping on you. Otherwise, the straps stood strong and it wasn’t too inconvenient on my legs. If the six-pack strap isn’t enough for you, I recommend checking out their Etsy store where you can find a bunch of other sick leather booze tools for cruising this summer.  –Tyler Makmell