Lil Man: Jeff Richards

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Photos: Bob Plumb

Jeff Richards (a.k.a Lil’ Jeff) is a 17-year-old skateboarder that attends Brighton High school. His skills can be seen in Brock Nielsen’s Costra Nostra where he locked down first part, fresh out of Jr High. Now as a mature adolescent he is currently filming with Brock (Butters) for his new video, yet to be named. Sometimes I forget how young this kid is because he’s so damn good at skating. As I started contemplating this interview, I thought about all the things that effect you as a highschooler (your peers, your parents, what’s cool, what’s not, those type of things), so instead of asking him a bunch of shit about skating, I thought it would be interesting to get into the psyche of a 17-year-old and compare the generation gap. I mean, shit, this kid was born in ’91, me ’79. When I was 17, the Internet was available via dial-up; if you wanted to cheat on a book report, you’d go buy CliffsNotes and according to iTunes, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC and the Spice Girls were topping the charts... what an amazing year for pop. After completely blowing the recording of the interview the first two times, this is interview number three (with Jeff’s friend Butters contributing), and everyone knows that third time’s the charm.

SLUG: Where do you go to school?
Jeff Richards: Brighton High School.
SLUG: Are there a lot of hot chicks?
JR: Haaa! No. No hot chicks.

SLUG: You ever been on a date?
JR: No. I don’t like girls
Butters: Don’t say that; people are gonna think you’re gay if that’s your answer. Just be like “Ahhh, I don’t have good luck with girls.”
JR: No, I hate girls.

SLUG: You ever made out with a girl before?
JR: Yeah. Hahahaha.
SLUG: What was it like?
JR: Duh, it was enchanted; it was magical enchantment.
SLUG:: What does that mean?
JR: It’s like the Disney fairy tales; love at first sight. Y’know.

SLUG: What ever happened to this girl?
JR: It was one night and that’s it.
SLUG:: Oh, kinda like a make-out one-night stand.
JR: Ya, I’ve had a couple of those.

SLUG: But you’ve never taken these girls out on a date?
JR: No, I told you, I’ve never been on a date.
SLUG: So if you were to go on a date, what would be your ideal date?
JR: I don’t know; what does everyone else do for a date? Go to the movies or something stupid.
B: Why don’t you ask him questions about skating?
JR: The interview is about girls, duh. Butters, you’re off the project.

SLUG: Have you ever gone to a school dance?
JR: Ha, yeah I’ve been to a couple, but I’ve never asked anyone.
SLUG: Were these the times you made out?
JR: No, those were different times. Butters over here always steals my dates from the dances and hooks up with them.
B: I didn’t hook up with that girl. We just hung out.
SLUG: Oh, that’s harsh. Are you still gonna film with Butters after that?
JR: Yeah, of course, but that’s some sketchy shit. I don’t care. Butters is my best friend.
SLUG: Like some bros before hos type of shit?
JR: Yeah, I don’t care, I thought it was funny.

SLUG: Are you going to go to prom this year?
JR: Dude, I’m not going to that shit.
SLUG: Why not?
JR: Cause you have to ask the girl and you have to pay money. I’m not paying money to go, shit’s beat.

SLUG: What’s a typical school day like for you?
JR: I wake up, eat food by the heater and go to school. I get out at 11:30 a.m. and go skate.
SLUG: Why do you get out so early?
JR: My mom has me on work release so I can go skate and snowboard more.
SLUG: Good Mom! What, you don’t have to take seminary?
JR: I did one time but I got kicked out for falling asleep in class. Then the guy tried to get me to go back, but fuck that. I told him no way, so I haven’t been back to seminary or church since then.

SLUG: When you get out, do you go skate with homies from school?
JR: No, everyone at my school is either a Mark or a jock.
SLUG: Do you ever feel peer pressure to fit in and join the football team?
JR: Haaa. No, I fucking hate that shit. I always just make fun of all the football players. They don’t care.
SLUG: What about to do drugs and alcohol. Do you ever feel pressure to try them?
JR: Yeah, of course, but Cale Zima always keeps it cool so I never feel too much pressure. Though now that he lost his V card, I think I might need to start working on that. All my friends’ cards are gone and I’m still hangin’.
SLUG: Do have some kind of plan to make that happen?
JR: I’m gettin’ it swiped tomorrow, fool. It’s done.
SLUG: Really? By who?
JR: I haven’t decided yet. We have to find someone. That’s the task for the rest of the day, to find someone.
SLUG: Don’t you think that’s going to require a date?
JR: Dude, no. It’s gonna be magical. I’m just gonna say, “We’re magical, let’s get enchanted,” and she’ll be down.
SLUG: Alright. Sounds like a good strategy. So if you have to write a book report for school, do you just look the book up on the Internet?
JR: Yeah, SparkNotes, cause I never read the books.
SLUG: Have you ever heard of CliffsNotes?
JR: Yeah, SparkNotes is the same thing; it’s just on the web.

SLUG: Have you ever had to use dial-up for the Internet?
JR: Yeah, the first thing I had was AOL and that was dial-up.
SLUG: Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC and Spice Girls, you ever heard of them?
JR: Yeah, duh. The Backstreet Boys was the first and only concert I’ve ever been to. I was in second grade and it was the shit. At the concert I got a Backstreet Boys hat with a red brim. It was sick. I went to school the next day and bragged to this girl that she had to go to the *NSYNC concert and I got to go to the Backstreet Boys … haha.
SLUG: So you’re backing the Backstreet Boys?
JR: Yeah, they were like rival bands with *NSYNC, but Backstreet Boys were always way better. Way tougher.
SLUG: So who would you compare the Backstreet Boys with today as far as pop appeal?
JR: Lil Wayne, dude. Lil Wayne is the shit now, just like Backstreet was back then. SLUG: So as far as chart-topping hits, they’re the same?
JR: In my mind, yeah, but now Backstreet Boys are fucking lame and Lil Wayne is still the shit.

SLUG: So what music do you listen to to get hyped before you go skate?
JR: Bob Dylan, G-Code or Iron Maiden. SLUG: What’s G-Code?
JR: All that hip-hop shit, fool. Gangster shit.
SLUG: Oh, like Dipset, Cash Money and Lil Wayne.
JR: Yeah, duh.

SLUG: Which skaters get you hyped?
JR: Nick Trapasso, Lizard and Reynolds. SLUG: Damn, that’s a trio. Which video parts do you watch before you go get a hammer?
JR: Nick Trapasso’s part, the Toy Machine video and the new Transworld video, And Now.

SLUG: Who are your sponsors?
JR: Milosport and I get packages sometimes from Krew and Supra.
SLUG: What’s up with that? Where your sponsors at, fool? You gotta drop your footy and get on some flow.
JR: I know. Talk to Butters about that shit, he’s blowing it. He just keeps saying we need more footage for the video, but by next year, the footage will be old.

SLUG: Come on, Butters, drop that shit. Any shout-outs?
JR: Yeah, to Butters.