mike brown
Motley Crue, Poison and New York Dolls @ USANA 06.19
If you know me at all, then you know how much I like Poison, and not because me and Bret Michaels have been friends since before Rock of Love aired on VH1. We became friends when I met him backstage when Poison played here in like 2006. Although he won’t respond to any of my fan mail, I still feel a strong connection with that great man. … read more
Mike Brown: Rob Packer
This month, Mike Brown is tasked with rounding up SLC’s local drunks, but it’s proving to be harder than it sounds. … read more
Mike Brown: Hover Boards
I was recently confronted outside a local tavern in the wee hours of the morning after a busy night of drinking. A man I had never met before accused me of writing some stuff that had upset some of his friends. The friends in question were legendary skateboarders Chris Senn and John Cardiel. I haven’t written about anything regarding skateboarding in damn near two years. If anything, I was pumped those dudes would even read any shit I ever wrote. … read more
Mike Brown: Destruction
There are some stories I just cannot share with SLUG readers. Not because I don’t want to—my fingers yearn to type a trail of madness for you all to enjoy—but sometimes the emotional and legal ramifications that a public, published piece regarding destruction could potentially cause isn’t worth the gamble. But as time goes on, the heat dies down, the evidence becomes more admissible and the story becomes safer to publish. This is one such story. … read more
Mike Brown: Speed Dating on Speed
So, here’s how it all started. My friend Grace (same Grace who pretended to be my wife when we stalked my ex-girlfriend) heard about speed dating and wanted to try it. I told her I would go with her, but I wanted to do some speed beforehand, strictly so I could name the article “Speed Dating on Speed.” … read more
Mike Brown: Home Sweet Home
I hope to God, if there is one, that my landlord doesn’t read this article. I’m not concerned so much about the maintenance guy giving this page a gander. He’s a nice dude, but never really fixes anything in my apartment, anyway. I’m OK with not getting my deposit back, but I really like my apartment and an eviction at this point would likely be justified by the next 800 or so words. But fuck it … You all want to know how I live, right? … read more
Mike Brown: Hate Mail
Hate mail. I don’t get nearly enough of it. Unless you define hate mail as mail I hate getting—like parking ticket subpoenas or credit card bills. I don’t mind junk mail, although I’m not a junkie or coupon user, junk mail makes me feel special. Like I’m somebody. Out of all the people on the planet, this huge corporation took time out of their busy schedule to bombard me with shit I’m just going to throw away. … read more
Mike Brown: Crazy Crazy Cats
It’s no secret that I love my cat Jet Pack. I used to hate cats. I still hate most cats. Most cats are selfish pretentious dicks. They think they know everything and can do whatever the fuck they want. Sounds like most hipsters I know. I bet if cats listened to music their record collections would totally suck. But Jet Pack? Nope, he’s awesome and here’s why. … read more
Mike Brown Stalks His Ex-GF
Ah, the one that got away. The one you thought would last forever and ever and ever, keeping your stomach full of delightful butterflies. The one that first ripped your heart out Indiana Jones-style and introduces you to the cruel ways of love. The one who got hooked on crystal meth and made you realize you had to break up with her via a collect call from the county jail. This was my first serious girlfriend. … read more
Mike Brown: Boobs
When I asked the SLUG editors what they wanted me to write my article about this month, they were very specific. They told me not to write it about Mike Brown Fest 5 (Urban Lounge, Oct 30). Instead, they specifically asked me to write about things I am familiar with. The editors asked me to write about boobs, even though they both have boobs and I don’t. Now I’m faced with the challenge of writing 850 words about tits with a broken pinkie finger. I like a challenge. … read more