300: Rise of an Empire
Warner Bros.
In Theaters: 03.07
Eight years after the release of Zack Snyder’s 300 (or as my friend calls it, “Eighteen-hundred Abs”), director Noam Murro has made a prequel/sequel/equal to the franchise that explores characters’ origins, parallel storylines and events that take place after the Spartans’ bloodbath. In this sword-wielding, blood-gushing, limb-removing tale, Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) leads his Greek soldiers against the invading Persian navy commanded by Artemisia (Eva Green) and strategically battle on the raging waters. The issues with the film come not from the imagery, especially since Murro blatantly mimics Snyder’s slow motion to rapid speed signature action sequences. Wherein Snyder’s film filled the audiences with adrenaline-fueled lines like, “This is Sparta!” Stapleton delivers speech after speech in attempt to drive the same enthusiasm with humdrum results. The action sequences are worthy of some praise, but the cartoonish amount of blood spilled is nothing but laughable. Did you know you carry 76 gallons of blood just in your forearm? Don’t bother looking that fact up, it’s true! Well, according to this movie it is. For anyone watching only for the blood, sex and violence, you won’t be disappointed, but remember, there’s a far better gladiator film sitting on your shelf, and watching that won’t cost you a penny.