Friday, January 19th – Party Hard

Posted January 23, 2007 in
We left SLC at 4pm to head out to our first party of Sundance – the DC Shoe/Complex Magazine party hosted by DC Shoe founder, Ken Block. The directions seemed clear enough – take a few turns and twists, go on an unpaved road and then give a code to access a gate and – BAM! – you're in the party. Well, Park City has a weird way of naming streets so that a Red Hawk Lane is not the same as a Red Hawk Trail and both happen to be on opposite ends of the city. After an hour's worth of confusion we finally found the party tucked away on the other side of the mountain, overlooking Park City in Block's huge mansion. We obviously thought it was worth it to find this place but once we arrived our hearts sank and our experience turned trivial – the party, it turns out, was nothing more than just a glorified bro fest.

We quietly sneaked in among the blisteringly loud hip-hop played by a guy who looked like the least famous Wayans Brother. We explored rooms and awkwardly took drinks of Sundance's ubiquitous drink sponsor, Stella Atois. Amidst the hipping and the hopping, the bipping and the bopping, the blinging and the stinging, we decided to come up with a party rating system that included these criterions:

– Free Shwag. How much, like Dustin Diamond and Gary Coleman, free shit can we sweep up? Zero points for no shwag and up to 10 points for high-end gear
– Head Count. How many people are here and are they mixing well? If only your friends showed up, zero points. Up to 10 points if the place was packed.
– Free Alcohol. Is free pouring and plenty or is it a shallow, narrow river? Zero for easy coming Stella Atois only and up to 10 points for upper class whiskey or a wide variety of liquors.
– Douche Bags. Speaks for itself. (See the pictures for prime examples). 10 points for a congenial time and no VICE don's and down to zero points for cl-ASS acts.
– Entertainment. Is it over-powering and intrusive or does it provides for a good mix and help people interacting? In essence, does it entertain or contain? 10 points if it is an amazing mix of music and mingling and down to zero if it is ill-fitting disco with awkward people.
– And finally, Celebrities. Who was there? Did we talk to them? Where they awesome? Zero points if Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were there and 10 points if David Wain and Ken Marino showed up.

In all fronts, the DC Shoe/Complex Magazine party was a mixed bag. The pictures show a ton of douche bags swashbuckling around acting like "D" list celebrities (three points for the douche bags). There were plenty of people who were engaged and talking but the alcohol was limited (three points for the alcohol and six points for the entertainment). The Wayan's Bro. DJ was not really DJ'ing per say but just playing records and there were no celebrities or free schwag (zero for the celebrities and zero for the schwag). Instead, it was a confused mingling of snow bro's and ho's, semi-intelligible jocks, sunflower hippies giving massages, cool chefs (the party was catered) and Mike from Red Bull (who is always in fine form). 10 points alone were awarded for seeing and talking to Mike from Red Bull. Overall, the party was a 22 out of a possible 60 points (including the 10 bonus Red Bull points). We made short order of this party and left to peruse greener pastures.

The rest of the night played out in a frantic waltz of trying to get into movies, not seeing any movies, playing video games and walking around trying to figure out the rest of our plan for the whole of Sundance. Not very productive, to say the least, but we were able to beat Final Fight the arcade game as a team and that in and of itself solidified our group as we found ourselves drunk, no movies being watched, general disappointment at our lack of planning, sleeping in the car. Tomorrow will be better.

Kept it a little unreal,

–Erik Lopez and Lance Saunders