Review: Pixels


Director: Chris Columbus
Columbia Pictures
In Theaters: 07.24

How I miss the days when I would walk into a theater with a beaming smile to see an Adam Sandler movie—Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer. Sure, they weren’t cinematic brilliance or anywhere in that realm, but at least they had some form of joy contained within them. Now, we just get a once-funny waste of space who’ll do anything for a buck, and that includes ruining a brilliant concept where 1980s video games invade Earth to destroy us all. There is nothing salvageable in this nonsensical endeavor that made me instinctively facepalm myself on multiple occasions due to its sheer stupidity. Not only does Sandler dig into his tattered bag of unfunny Happy Madison sidekicks and offers Kevin James as the President of the United States—no, I’m not joking—but he also attempts to ruin the careers of actually talented individuals including Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad and Michelle Monaghan. I hope all three learned their lesson and remember to say no next time Sandler comes knocking on their door for his next craptastic adventure. Seriously, how can you make an audience hate Peter Dinklage?! America needs to take a vote on just how many yards Adam Sandler should be forced to stay away from a camera, studio set and any other actor/actress. –Jimmy Martin