Ask a Cop – October 2012


Illustration: Sean Hennefer

Dear Cop,
One could say that I live in a super sketch part of town, enough to where I literally carry a knife in my hand if I have to walk alone at night. Honestly the only thing that really bothers me is the obviously huge drug operation going on at the end of my street. In fact this operation is so poorly hidden to the point that I could tell you who the “drug lord” is and his main bitch. I’ve even walked passed people trippin out next to this house, just hunched over and throwing up. My concerns have grown, now that I’ve been hearing terrible baby screams in the middle of the night coming from this place. What I don’t understand is that I see cop cars slowly driving down my street all the time. What the fuck is taking you guys so long to shut this
shit down!?
-Girl With A Knife

Dear Jacqueline the Ripper,
What you’re describing is this new phenomenon known as a “crack house,” or “tweaker pad” or whatever you want to call it. Police are actively working diligently to shut them all down, so we’ll never hear about them ever again, and there will be peace in our time. Jackie, honestly, no respectable drug dealer will allow anyone to use near their house and family. And no respectable drug dealer will sell from his residence. A decent drug dealer doesn’t deal. He has balloon runners out dealing for him, and the runners do it mobile, such as from cars, bikes and on foot.

What you have is a place where drug users hang out, live, crash, go on the nod, however you want to describe it. It’s not a place for sales—it’s a place for use. They’ve always existed and always will. It’s low-priority to the cops—and I’m going to be honest here—because what are they really going to do about some drug addict with a $20 rock, chip, needle, puddle, etc.—put them in jail? They’ll just get ORed before the report is done. When drug addicts fall in the cops’ laps, yeah they book them, but they don’t actively work “addict patrol.” Okay, there are a few who do, but not many.

The time when you’re going to get some action from the coppers is when you generate a “child check”—the welfare call. Crack babies screaming in the middle of the night will get a police response—guaranteed. They’ll also bring DCFS or CPS, which scare the dopers more than the cops do. Your “drug lord” is most likely the tweaker grandson of the old lady whose house they’ve commandeered. When the cops find her living in filth in the basement, they’ll also charge tweaker boy and his pitted meth bug-face “main bitch” with elder abuse. Make that call, and your problem will be solved—that is, until they get out, get their kids back, fall off the wagon and it starts all over again.

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