I feel that, by now, both my readers have noticed that I am not a fan of the holidays. So I won’t really go over the reasons why I hate the Christ-loving evangelicals of Utah and their demented reasoning behind putting up Christmas décor the day after Halloween. I will, however, caution whoever wears a Santa hat shopping this year: you will get flipped off, and you will most likely get whatever bottle I have in my hand thrown at you, and pray to your God that it is the 1750 ml Jameson, for my sake.