Dear Dickheads

Dear SLUG,
I am absolutely appalled that you would let “Princess” Kennedy write such a crude and offensive column in your October issue. The stories of filth she included about herself and others made me (and I know plenty of others who feel the same as I do) gag and immediately put down the magazine. I’m all about free speech and wouldn’t want to live in a world that was censored, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I know the world is filled with horrible people and they do disgusting things, but I’d rather those people keep those things to themselves. I seriously want to throw up all over SLUG right now just thinking about it. And sorry, Princess Kennedy, but I don’t think true royalty poops on their date, no matter how much gold they get in return.
Grossed Out

Dear Grossed Out,
Human beings are disgusting, wretched creatures. We may function at a higher brain level than some of our furrier mammal counterparts, but when it comes right down to it, we are no better than the dog that licks its ass, or the monkey that flings its poo. Our bodies are fleshy, our innards are foul and the old man who courted Kennedy with that weekly delicious steak dinner doesn’t have as crude of a fetish as you might think. Seriously—there are dominatrices who get paid way more than $65 a pop to excrete their breakfast on to someone else’s body. Embrace the fringes and realize that what you find to be nothing more than “offensive filth” is others’ bread and butter. Check Kennedy’s column from Nov. if you are looking for a more wholesome and motherly tranny.

Dear Dickheads,
This morning I was on the train and I saw a man who was disabled being harassed by Officer Adamson of the UTA Police Transit Authority.  The person had a verifiable ticket, I know cause I am the operator of the train.  It really chaps my Red Irish Ass when people do that to people with disabilities.  This guy is a paraolympian and he was being kicked around by the cops, and publicly humiliated.  We are signing a petition and we are
going global. -Ty

Dear Ty,
I recommend spamming the fuck out of UTA’s Facebook ( and Twitter ( Create a Facebook group dedicated to raising awareness of Adamson’s actions and invite everyone you know, as well as the people posting on UTA’s Facebook page. I’m not hating on UTA here, but now that it’s so easy to hold organizations like UTA accountable for their actions via social media, stuff like this can’t be swept under the rug.