Product Reviews

Kronik Energy Drink
Entourage/ Dragon Berry
“Pomegranate, Smarties and Rockstar” was the best description someone gave me of the taste of Kronik’s Dragon Berry flavor when I brought a few over to my friend’s house one night. Despite its description on the can, which appeals to Juggalos and aggro lifted-truck-driving douchebags, the stuff tasted nothing like what they had said. Since I’ll drink anything to get my caffeine fix, I wanted to share the Kronik with others to get further descriptions, but the test results didn’t go so well—lots of unpleasant faces and full cans in the garbage. However, there is one place where energy drinks are always welcome, so I brought them to a party and poured Kronik into people’s wine, which turned out to be shockingly good. The Kronik Entourage flavor was the favorite for caffeinated wine, and before you knew it, the case was gone and the coffee table was smashed to bits. Now, besides a wine mixer, I will probably never purchase this drink, since it didn’t provide me with the caffeine fix I needed and I was slightly embarrassed to drink it in public. End result: Just another energy drink that tastes the same as all the rest. –Jeremy Riley

Goodberrymint Water and Chocolatemint Water
Both these waters sound like delightful thirst quenchers, though you may be wondering WTF a “goodberry” is (“natural flavors” of “berry essence” and “real” mint). Metromint, best known for their skinny plastic packaging and dotted labels, is also known for making sugar-free water that actually tastes good. Though I could write 600 words on how truly evil plastic bottles are and how I don’t like companies that use artificial “natural” flavors in their products, I won’t—only because I don’t have that much room. These products being what they are (delicious), the fact that I was very thirsty when I tried them and my ultimate recycling of the bottles will save you from my eco-purist diatribe this time. Truth is, this shit’s real tasty, will fill your H20 need and is fuck-tons better for you than Mountain Dew or Starbucks swill. –JP

Logo Deck
It is refreshing to see a skateboarding company that prides itself in the product they produce, rather than the image they uphold. RAW is a skateboard brand out of Boston, Massachusetts. This is not your Deathwish or Baker skateboard deck. There’s nothing zany or crazy at all about RAW. The whole premise behind RAW is that they make quality skateboards. No bullshit, no gimmick, just good skateboards. The 8-inch skateboard deck that I skated was one of the best skateboards that I have ever used in my life. With a nice mellow concave and a good steepness in the nose and tail, I really can see nothing wrong with these decks. RAW is unique because every single one of their skateboards is made in the United States, right in upstate New York. RAW lets their products speak for themselves, opting out of using a skateboard team to promote the brand. You will see pros supporting the brand sporadically (PJ Ladd, Joey Pepper), but that is because the pros who support RAW know quality skateboards, not just a paycheck. –Jason Newman

Bear Naked
Granola, Trail Mix, and Granola Cookies
I will set aside the bias (most of it) I usually bring to pre-packaged “health-food” and judge what “normal” people give a shit about: taste, flavor and basic nutrition. The truth: This granola brand is much better than almost all the corporate non-foods that pass for human feed in cereal/snack food aisles. Most companies don’t care about keeping high fructose syrup or artificial preservatives and flavors out of their products, but Bear Naked cares (they told me several times on the packages). This comes in handy/tasty in their new cookies. I almost ate a whole box of their Double Chocolate delicacies in one session—shit was goood. Their granolas/trail mixes beat the fuck out of your Lucky Charms/Snickers for breakfast/snacks on a first tracks day. Ingest something with whole oats as the first ingredient and you’ll thank these people for it. –JP