Uinta Madness vs. Capital City Crushers 04.06

Posted April 12, 2013 in

Oh, roller derby. You tempestuous mistress you. She teases, taunts and always leaves you wanting more.

Last Saturday, walking into the Derby Depot, I finally realized what was missing in my life for the last few months. The Depot was packed, fans of both teams filled the seats, ready to cheer on their respective teams. Our local boys of Uinta Madness, had a little score to settle with the Boise natives. They have a long and complicated history, most recently ending in a loss to the Crushers last fall at Spudtown.

The first half started off with both teams hitting each other hard. Aggressive plays by each team, both offensive and defensive, were scattered throughout, and penalties abounded. There were moments when even I didn’t know what exactly was happening, and I could only wonder how the refs were keeping up. A few time outs were called to double check that all penalties and points were properly accounted for. Uinta definitely dominated within the first half of the game, points wise, until the last bout of the first half, where we saw our first lead change with Capital City ending it with a score of 83-82.

Half time was a little exhibition match of the Wasatch Junior Roller Derby’s Minion Terrors, Blue vs White. These kids are the future of roller derby––the next generation, if you want to get cliche. But seriously, these tiny tots are showing tons of promise and are sure to kick ass when they get to the big leagues.

I’m not sure if it was just me, but the second half seemed to be a blur of amazing plays, power jams and penalties. Uel Lose, of Uinta, definitely showed off his speed skills in a power jam a little into the second half, scoring 20 points while Capital City’s jammer was in the box. After, In Thayne, also of Uinta, changed the lead again in Uinta’s favor, and they kept it.

Uinta definitely wasn’t the only one to gain power jams. Obi Quad Kenobi, of Capital City, took advantage of the situation while In Thayne was out in the box on a pushing foul, scoring 6 points.

For the rest of the bout, it seemed to be a “tap in, tap out” policy in the penalty box. If one was in, the other out and vice versa. But as the minutes trickled down, it started getting brutal on the track. Uinta’s In Thayne, in the box for 2 jams on a cutting track penalty, was only out for a few moments before having to go back, on another cut track, took his sweet time sitting down to start his penalty time, resulting in Capital City’s jammer Robo, who was also in the penalty box, having to wait until In Thayne truly and finally sat down before being released. Kind of a rude move, not to mention unnecessary, as in the end, Uinta Madness came away victorious at a score of 192-182. Both teams kicked ass and took names, but Uinta definitely claimed back their bragging rights against Capital City. To find out more about our spectacular men’s roller derby team, visit their website at wasatchrollerderby.com/uinta-madness.