Skate Park Etiquette 101

Sure, skateparks are public and they’re built for everyone to use. Both young and old, experienced and inexperienced should be able to enjoy the parks. There is, however, a set of unwritten laws that are not posted with those stupid set of rules at the entry gates. I’m going to inform you about those rules one by one over these winter months to come, that way you can show up to the park this next spring and not be the total dork that you are now. For example, there are public basketball courts at most parks but you can’t be just anybody and show up and play in a tight game with all the ballers. I mean you don’t just walk onto the court and start playing horse with your little sister when there is a group of hard ass brothers playing full court. It works vice versa as well, some skilled fool doesn’t want to play horse with you and your little sister when neither of you can dunk the ball or shoot a three pointer. There is a proper time and place for everything. This first rule goes out to the ass clowns out there who show up to the park and proceed to do rock to fakie tail tap over and over again on the smallest trannies in the park. All the while there are about ten dudes doing lines waiting patiently for your mark ass to go home and get the fuck out the way. Then there is me, the guy who is obviously so pissed that he tells you all about it and for you to watch out for everyone else. You acknowledge me once then proceed to repeat your painful process. I get so pissed I shoot my board into the trees off the tranny you’re skating and go home and have to drink a handle of whiskey by myself (no joke). Sure there is a time and a place for everything. The time to rock to fakie tail tap is between the hours of 6:00 AM to 9:00 AM. Better yet, build yourself two four foot wide quarter pipes, put them into half pipe fashion in the middle of your road and go to town. See how much cars trying to go by at 35 MPH appreciate your bullshit. That’s exactly how I feel when I push half way around the park only to have you drop in front of my shit. Well, that’s it for this month. Remember kids, it’s O.K. to fuck off.


This month I’m giving away a pair of Chris Haslam cords furnished by Globe Shoes. They are slim fit size 32” waist. There are also a pair of Skullcandy nubs headphones included in the package as well. You know the name of the game by now, be the first to answer the trivia correct and the shit is all yours. Send your answers to my e-mail above.

1. Who did Haslam skate for before his current sponsor of Almost?
2. Although the pants I’m giving away are by Globe Shoes, who is Haslam’s current threads and apparel sponsor? Think trucks.
3. How many lip tricks can Haslam do on a mini-ramp? Trick question, best answer wins.