The thousands upon thousands of acres of property Mormons own in Utah are loaded with great features for snowboarding, but there’s never a completely empty church that you can have your way with—it’s always a matter of hitting a spot and hoping the people inside don’t notice. This led me to consider a new approach—a bargain of sorts. We would tell the kicking-out party that we’d come check out the program and consider converting if they’d just let us do our thing. There’s no way they could resist being the person who brought in some new members—I’m sure they get extra wives in heaven for this. On second thought, I’d take the risk of getting kicked out over sacrificing my integrity any day.