Itinerary of a Mad Man

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Ever wonder what it's like to be a professional skateboarder at the Toyota AST Dew Tour? Well, Utah's own Adam Dyet now knows exactly what it's like. I had the pleasure of hanging out with Adam in the days prior to the contest and also the week after. Adam is a fucking mad man on his board and he's psychotic off it as well. This is a rough look at how things went down: after a few days, everything starts to get blurry. Some of the places and names have been withheld due to legal matters as nobody wants to air out their dirty laundry in public. Sorry Adam, you kind of get the shit end of that stick.

Photo: Bob Plumb II

9.8.08: Get the call from the head honchos at Dew Tour telling you you're going to represent your home turf. No qualifying needed: you're a real professional with real sponsors.

9.9.08: Get your new sponsor, Skull Candy, to pay for your airfare and the majority of your hotel accommodations. They think you're only going to be staying for a few days and have no idea how much you party.

9.10.08: Arrive in Salt Lake, go to the event site and check out the course. It's practice day but who needs practice? You're a professional! Instead, hook up all the out of state homies with goodies for the week. Party like it's 1999.

9.11.08: Wake up hung-over, eat a little something and then smoke about twelve cigarettes. Go to the event for practice. Qualify 5th out of 25. You're going to the finals. That shit was easy. Go out to the club at night followed by an undisclosed party in the University area and party with the best of them until 4:30 in the morning. "I can't do well in contests unless I'm hung-over."

9.12.08: Go to the event and kill yourself in practice, crushing hip and groin. Now you're screwed, oh well, try to push through it. Have a good first run and then run off the course to barf. Is it a case of the jitters, or just your party lifestyle? Have a bad second run, but who cares? Contests pretty much suck anyways. Start drinking pronto. Go out to the club at night. You know you're balling when it's you plus 30 on the V.I.P. list and all the drinks are free.

9.13.08: Sleep all day because there is no skateboarding going down. Repeat the partying process. Retire for the night around 7:30 A.M.

9.14.08: Wake up hung-over (common theme) and go watch the vert finals. Andy McDonald wins and that pretty much sums up why contests are lame. Start drinking, and never stop.

9.15.08-9.23.08: You remember how you were only supposed to be in town for a few days, but you're hurt, so who cares? Hang out with your family because that is what's most important in life. Shoot an ad for your new sponsor because they're important too. Remember that they paid your $2,000+ hotel bill. Every night you're in town you party like a rock star, but who cares, you're hurt. You are only 23 years old and chicks love your hair so you get your hair dyed.

Well kids, that's what life is like if you're a professional skater, except for 365 days a year and in about seven different countries. Don't try this at home unless you plan on dying at the age of 33. Remember that you still have to skate, shoot ads and film for videos too.