Film Review: Weapons

Weapons
Directors: Zach Cregger
New Line Cinema, Domain Entertainment (II), Subconscious
In Theaters: 08.08.2025

In a world where mediocre super hero movies and Disney live actions are still being produced, there’s a biopic for anyone who’s ever taken a shit and a plethora of reboots of a reboot’s reboot, you’d think the promising young man behind Barbarian would deliver a tour de force of an original horror movie. Think again. That’s right, Zach Cregger is back at it, following up his breakout directorial hit (since we’re all gonna pretend that Miss March never happened) with the flat and underwhelming horror-mystery-thriller, Weapons. I know, not the way I had hoped this review would start out either. 

Weapons was the talk of Tinseltown earlier this year after its fun and playful viral marketing campaign took not only TikTok, but the entire internet by storm. Eerie Ring camera footage of children running out of their houses at two in the morning? Sign us sick fucks up! I let the hype get to me this time — I was ready to see this so-called “horror movie of the summer.” Though after my initial viewing of Weapons, I walked out of the theater thinking only one thing to myself: “We need to start hating things again.” Please note, before I move forward with the rest of this review, see how I said “things” and not “people”?

Weapons explores the aftermath of a tragic event involving all — except one boy named Alex (Cary Christopher, Fuller House, The Rookie) — of the students going missing from Ms. Gandy’s (Julia Garner, Apartment 7A, Electrick Children) third-grade class. The previous night all children are caught either on security systems or Ring doorbells leaving into the night, seemingly of their own free will, at exactly 2:17 a.m. The story is told in a non-linear narrative from the perspectives of Ms. Gandy, the father of one of the missing children, Archer (Josh Brolin, No Country For Old Men, Dune: Part Two), Paul (Alden Ehrenreich, Cocaine Bear, Oppenheimer) a cop who is romantically (and I use that word lightly) involved with Ms. Gandy, the unassuming school principal Marcus (Benedict Wong, Doctor Strange, 3 Body Problem) and a hilarious strung-out junkie named James (Austin Abrams, Euphoria, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark). 

Now, in technical terms, Weapons is an excellently and lovingly crafted movie. Fun and unique cinematography with beautifully intentional framing not only helps move the story along in an interesting way, but also leaves you lingering on some of its more disturbing moments. There’s also really unique and intriguing sound design, specifically a very catchy and memorable score by Cregger himself, that amplifies the film’s intensity during some very pivotal moments. It’s an exciting psychological bonus to say the least. Not to mention that Cregger stacks an all-star cast in our line-up who go above and beyond in their performances, specifically Cary Christopher and Amy Madigan (Uncle Buck, Fringe).

That being said, where Cregger shined in his writing for Barbarian he fails excruciatingly with Weapons. While the comedic moments break the attempts at tension that the movie tries to build, those moments are really the only memorable part of this entire endeavor. The most frustrating part is that there is a really good movie somewhere in the mess of Weapons. There’s loads of incredible potential that starts to cover very serious topics, like school shootings and how elder generations have basically weaponized children for their own personal gain in things like elections and lawmaking, which are uniquely explored and never before seen in film. Grace can be given for having ideas too big for your britches, though Cregger thought he was smarter than all of us, even when he’s presenting a story that reads as fully-unformed. 

There’s one specific scene that set off my “hate-o-meter” that I could write an entire separate article solely about. Cregger doesn’t think his audience is smart enough to get what exactly it is he’s trying to tell us through this story, so what does he do? He literally shows you it by adding a scene with a giant AK-47 (or whatever the fuck kind of gun it is, I wouldn’t know) hovering above a house. Another example is the use of defining what a parasite is multiple times. For this sin, there is no repentance. Audiences put their trust in you when they buy tickets to your movie; you owe them the same in return. 

This brings us back around to my earlier statement. We need to start allowing ourselves to hate and constructively critique things again. No more forgiveness for subpar movies — let’s have opinions and hold our favorites to the standard they set for themselves! Just because you loved Barbarian doesn’t mean you objectively have to like Weapons! Enough with these new trends of director loyalty! Both a great movie and a lackluster move can be created by the same artist and exist simultaneously. Don’t worry, Cregger and the Ari Aster-lot of directors like him can deal with a little criticism. Either way, Cregger is the one who’s laughing all the way to the bank! —Yonni Uribe

Read more film reviews from Yonni Uribe:
Secondhand Screenings Gone Wild!!!
Film Review: Bring Her Back