Here’s Some Xmas Music
Archived
Mary Margaret O’Hara
Ouisbnas EP
Koch
Who knows how many versions of “Blue Christmas” are available this Christmas season? Mary Margaret O’Hara has released the definitive one. Feeling a little blue? Christmas brings depression? Have a listen to the slowest, dreariest “Blue Christmas” ever – shed a tear in the eggnog.
The EP only has four songs and it is probably almost impossible to find locally. It kicks Enya‘s little Christmas EP all the way into next Christmas. The presence of violin and lap steel tends to bring a rural feeling to the songs, except everything is in slow motion. “Silent Night” is another. I’m surprised the band can stay awake to back O’Hara. ”What Are You Doing New Years Eve” dispenses with the country and brings on the horns, bass clarinet, clarinet and English horn. She thanks the Einstein Brothers in the liner notes and they need to offer her a big steaming cup of coffee. “Christmas Evermore” is the fife and drum corps substituting guitar and violin for the fife, a somber march for celebrating Santa’s arrival.
Forget tradition and experiment. When the guests become boring, put the EP on and their beds will beckon. The only problem with the EP is…it isn’t long enough. Most extraordinary. —Nicholas
Martin Atkins and the Chicago Industrial League
An Industrial Christmas Carol
Invisible
“In Seattle, cats are being killed and hung from trees in a graveyard. Two children are arrested for the deed. Days later, a 50 year old man lures an eight year old boy into his ice cream truck. Everyday politicians lie, cheat, and steal while having sex with their underage aides. In Detroit, a cry is heard. A priest has been murdered. Who would kill a priest? As it was later learned, the murderer was none other than the priest’s gay, prostitute, crack-dealing lover. Welcome to America. Age-old hatred never takes a holiday. Fuck Christmas.” Those are the words the CD booklet contains. Let me add some of my own. In Salt Lake City a man hosting a radio program dedicated to teaching values to the young is arrested for sexually molesting a 14-year-old girl. Welcome to America. Age old hatred never takes a holiday. Fuck Christmas.
The CD lasts 44 minutes and 43 seconds. The first ten minutes or so are taken up by Martin Atkins beating the hell out of his drums while playing the Christmas chimes on a synthesizer as Mark Spybey grunts blasphemies in Pig Latin. That would be ”Introduction.” Next up is “The Spirit Of Christmas.” This song has the throb and once again, Atkins is getting energetic with the drums. Dana Hamet does her backing vocal thing as the spirit of Christmas is revealed to be bells ringing out and voices soaring and age-old hatred never taking a holiday. “Go to church, sacred music, suicide bomber, warm, guns, snow, more terrorism than ever before, This is Christmas in America, 50 percent cheaper than it was previously. There is no room at the inn except at an hourly rate.” Atkins’ tiny baby wails away in the background. His spirit of Christmas is absolutely chilling.
Thus we have reached “I’m Dreaming Of A White Noise Christmas.” Atkins reveals the true nature of Christmas in America. The retail shopping season begins the day after Halloween. There are only shopping days left until next Christmas. No wonder the only place to buy the CD is at an independent store! Every manager of every corporately owned retail outlet should be required to listen to An Industrial Christmas Carol over and over again until their white shirt has turned yellow from their own sweat and piss. Fuck Christmas to death. —Corporate Whore
Just Say Noel
Geffen Records
Oh shit, another Christmas compilation. Of the new Christmas releases from major labels this year Just Say Noel looks like the best bet. There is an Ultra Lounge Christmas CD, a Bachelor Pad Christmas CD, and one from Sony Music competing with the usual moronic trash. The lounge ones don’t have any new material and my contact with Sony moved to Austin.
Geffen has a whole bunch of “keen” artists signed to their roster. Beck, Amy Mann, Sonic Youth, Southern Culture On The Skids and others offer up their versions of Christmas. Beck is all spaced out, Amy Mann is moody, Sonic Youth are competing with SCOTS for most white trash of the disc and the SCOTS song has been in the can for about a year and finally sees release. The Posies are boring, the Roots are rapping the Christmas experience from the abused side of life, Remy Zero is suffering from seasonal depression, Elastica is rocking the material world as if they were wired Christmas lights, the Wild Colonials are celebrating with a penny whistle, fiddle and an acoustic guitar – a mite folky for Geffen, which makes “Christmas Is Quiet” stand beside Beck and SCOTS.
XTC – well what can one say – where have they been? “The Musical Cast Of Toys” featuring Wendy & Lisa is far too bombastic/commercial for my taste and the final cut by Ted Hawkins isn’t a Christmas song at all. I guess when Christmas is spent on the street “Amazing Grace” can ease the lack of joy. Play it as Christmas dinner is served and remember that under the viaduct they are eating almost as well, at least on holidays. —Mr. Cody
Esquivel!
Merry Xmas From The Space Age Bachelor Pad
Bar None
When shopping at the mall for the latest, greatest Christmas release; you won’t find this one. At least one of the major mall chains hasn’t paid their bills – They can’t get the disc from the distributor. Esquivel! could be credited with starting the entire lounge craze that has escalated to an insane degree. He was among the first to see reissue. He is also one of the weirdest. The album is comprised of recordings made during the late 50s and early 60s, with some portions originally released in LP form.
Esquivel! isn’t active at the present time. He was coaxed into recording an introduction. As a demonstration of just how great and innovative the man was please listen to the “Oi! Oi!” chorus near the beginning. “Zu, zu, zu, oi! oi!” ¡Esquivel! invented “Oi! Oi!”
Esquivel! takes traditional Christmas carols and puts a bizarre twist on them. ”The Christmas Song” has a chorus singing the song true to form, except a brass clash of cymbal bash intrudes unexpectedly. “Frosty The Snowman” is almost an instrumental. Again, the use of strange instruments and the chorus “zu, zu, zu” -ing away with lyric portions inserted as soundbites sends the song adrift. In the case of “Sun Valley Ski Run” the orchestra is mundane, but the piano is playing a different version and the horns stray out of bounds.
The CD contains 12 tunes. One of them is the rare “I Feel Marvelous.” It isn’t quite a Christmas song – Maybe it was included to please Esquivel! collectors. Let not a Christmas CD see release without the New Years tune. “Auld Lang Syne (Adios From Esquivel!)” completes the journey. He bids ado to what sounds like a theremin backing him and that is the far-too-short Esquivel! CD. I’ll call this a classic to cherish, many a Christmas to come, part of the family Christmas tradition in the future. Check the independent shops and ask for a listen.
Read more from the SLUG archives of the 90s:
The Year in Rock: December 1995
The Pinch
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