Seven Inches Of Sausage

Discount
“Her Last Day”
7 Sixty Records

OK, so I gave this my three song test. Basically it’s the judge of everything under five bucks. It has three songs to get me interest­ed, or I’m outta there. I think if Discount were an opening band, I might enjoy them. I would never stay if they were headlining a show. They’re not horrible or anything. As a matter of fact they have a lot of  “spunkiness.”  But for the most part the only thing that stands out about them is the fact that they’ve got a female lead singer who can do this J Church sort of thing well. The recording quality sucks though and so it’s hard to tell if the band’s any good at playing their friggin’ instru­ments. Hey, the good news is they don’t annoy me.

The Fosters
Kat Records

Boy, is this outfit cashing in on a sound. This group sounds just like Discount. With the exception that singing duties are carried on by a man and a woman, this band is exactly the same as the last. Oi vey. Um, it’s good summer skate music and maybe even snowboarding songs.

Lucky Me
Unlimited Tokens
Collective Fruit Recordings

This band is so good they made me swallow the load. Pick this up. The woman singing has got one of the most incredible voices I’ve heard in modern music. Think Christina from Boss Hog meets Jon Spencer from the same band. The first song “Spoon” is just great. It’s all low and slow and then just when they’ve lulled you to believe Mazzy Star got some balls they kick in the door, shoot your dog, empty your fridge and sodomize your fish. This band has got power, talent and ability. At this point I would like to thank them for giving me something in the world to enjoy. I don’t even care if they’re in Seattle.

The Wicked Farleys
Ken Theory
Big Top Records

Employing the three song rule, this band could have me tee­tering on the edge, like I might keep it if I didn’t have anything else to buy. If I were at their show, they had better pick up the ener­gy or I’d be outta there. This record reminds me of Fulflej’s early stuff, kind of rambly tunes that don’t really go anywhere. I wanted more from this band as the record started, but all I got was a band that sounded OK doing something I have heard others do bril­liantly.

Scared of Chaka/The Traitors split
Johann’s Face Records

In plain English so every­body can follow along: ‘80s … punky hardcore… OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this and there are just too many bands doing it. It’s crap. It’s not even a good imitation. If you don’t quit sticking me with that thing, I’m gonna rip it off and beat in your head. I wish there was a better note to leave on but there isn’t. —Sausage King

Read more from the archives:
God Street Wine
Zen Guerilla

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