Book Reviews – May 2010

Emails From an Asshole
John Lindsay
Sterling Publishing
Street: 03.2010
So this guy, John Lindsay, finds people’s presumptuous craigslist ads or other help, job or car wanted ads and creates elaborate email responses that are, in and of themselves, pretty damn funny and often surprisingly creative. Now, I love a good joke at someone else’s expense as much as the next guy—probably more—but the problem with making stupid people on the internet look stupid ... well, it’s like getting a cat to play with a bit of string. No, wait, it’s like successfully preparing ramen noodles. Point is, it’s really fucking easy. Poking fun at stupid folk on the internet (where Stupid goes to show off) is so easy, the internet has given it its own word, and that word is ‘Troll.’ Whether or not this is the first book written by a troll about trolling is not for me to say. All I know is it’s a damn shame Mr. Lindsay doesn’t focus his fairly substantial creative energies on people even remotely worth teasing. –Jesse Hawlish

The Mormon Kama Sutra 40th Anniversary Edition
Cami Sue Truman
Revised and Updated by Sister Dottie S. Dixon
White Horse Books
Street: 10.15.09
OH FETCH! I grew up in Utah and I thought I had a pretty darn decent understanding of the prominent religious culture here. Imagine my surprise to discover that there is more than meets the eye! Utah is certainly well known for the button-down conservative-type Mormons, and many might believe that the Mormon populace does not choose to engage in or enjoy many sexual encounters beyond the standard hole-in-the-sheet type experience. The Mormon Kama Sutra informs the masses that not only do the Latter Day Saints engage in procreating behaviors, but they also love a good “fetch” (fuck). Pat Bagley tastefully illustrates this guide on how to best appreciate sanctifying the marriage. Sister Dottie S. Dixon provides commentary and instruction on positions and techniques such as “The Salamander Handler,” “The Scrapbooker,” and “Pulling The Handcarts.” If there were ever a tempting reason to convert, I would have to say “The Jell-O Pin” could do the trick. Come on over guys, I would love to discuss the book of The Mormon Kama Sutra anytime. –Ben Trentelman

News, Nudity & Nonsense: The Best of Vice Magazine Vol. II 2003-2008
Vice Books
Street: 10.13.09
News, Nudity & Nonsense has collected some of Vice’s most interesting gems of information into a 300-page tome. This collection is filled with all sorts of fun and useless information that can be used to impress your stupid friends. The book is divided into twelve sections. First off are the Vice Guides. They cover everything from the guide to throwing a good party, the guide to being a whore and even the guide to friendship. Don’t get bogged down in this first section though. There is plenty of hilarity in the pages that follow. Everything from fuckable foods to instructions on determining the cleanliness of your street drugs, an eccentric interview with ODB and another one with funeral directors is covered in this collection. It’s the useless, but incredibly interesting, info that you won’t pick up in school, or for most folks, anywhere in ‘real life.’ I may not ever apply what I’ve learned, but I can bring it up at bars and parties to impress and/or intimidate whomever the fuck I’m talking to. –Jeanette D. Moses