Leading With Love: One Utah Couple’s Foster Care Journey

Jessica Wainwright and Linamar Monslave, a married couple in the LGBTQ+ community, have known from the beginning that they wanted to be mothers. As they explored different paths to parenthood, they attended a Mother’s Day event at Utah’s Hogle Zoo in 2023 where they entered a giveaway for IVF treatments. Instead of IVF, they found themselves in conversation with a representative from Utah Foster Care (UFC). The more they learned about the need for foster families and the children in need of support, the more fostering felt like the right choice. “We thought, ‘Well, this isn’t what we imagined for ourselves originally,’” Wainwright says, “but we couldn’t get it out of our heads. We just knew it was the right thing for us.”

After licensing and training, both Wainwright and Monslave had their first placement in 2024. “[Fostering] is one of those things where you learn as you go, even though you’re trained for it, and you know you’re prepared as much as you can be,” Wainwright says. While the primary goal of foster care is reunification with biological families, some children are adopted when that is ultimately the best path for them. Wainwright and Monslave adopted their son, who was also their first placement in 2024. Now, they are also able to foster his biological siblings, helping maintain important family connections while embracing the joy of being his parents.

“We thought, ‘Well, this isn’t what we imagined for ourselves originally,’ but we couldn’t get it out of our heads. We just knew it was the right thing for us.”

Nationally, one in three youth in foster care identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and there is a need for support and unconditional love. “Someone said, ‘If you cannot accept a child who comes out as gay, lesbian or trans, then this is probably not the best route for you,’” Wainwright says about a training she attended. Utah Foster Care offers ample support and education for foster parents to ensure the youth are placed in safe environments.

Being members of the community themselves, Wainwright and Monslave were prepared to love any child that came into their home.“My wife grew up in Venezuela, and she had experiences that weren’t positive when she came out,” Wainwright explains. “My experience [coming out] was very positive. I can use my positive experience, and she can use her not-so-positive experience, and we can come together and say, ‘How can we be the best parents?’”

“Someone said, ‘If you cannot accept a child who comes out as gay, lesbian or trans, then this is probably not the best route for you.’”

To people who are considering becoming foster parents, Monslave has beautiful advice. “Do it. But take away your expectations of how you think this foster child should be, who you think they should become, how you think they should act and behave and what you think parenting them is going to look like,” she says. “If you do happen to have a child who comes out as LGBTQ+, please take away any past beliefs, prejudices or expectations that you’re putting on kids. If you can lead with love and treat them with love, foster care is absolutely for you.”

Utah Foster Care is a private 501(c)(3) created by the Utah legislature in 1999. The nonprofit works to recruit, train and nurture foster families across the state while supporting them through donor-funded programs and resources. Prospective foster parents complete training that prepares them for the realities of foster care. After families are licensed, UFC continues to provide mentorship, support groups and educational workshops, so families never feel alone in the process.

Since 1999, Utah Foster Care has found and instructed over 16,650 families, helping create safe and supportive homes for children throughout Utah. There are nearly 1,700 children in foster care in Utah, and fewer than 800 foster families. There is an urgent demand for more people to join Utah Foster Care in their mission to help youth in need. If you are interested in learning more or being a positive influence in a child’s life, visit utahfostercare.org.

Read more about the local organizations making a difference:
Utah Foster Care: Creating Community and Caring for Utah’s Most Vulnerable
The Beauty School Industry Is in Jeopardy, and These Utah Leaders Are Asking for Help

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