Salt Lake Comic Con: Saturday


At one time in every kid’s life they came in contact with D&D (A D&D for the fan boy fags) or anyone who played it. Remember the long nights in your parent’s basement rolling your die and building a character or quest. The Dungeon Master would make the plight of the game as you battled scary monsters, chugged Mountain Dew and ate chips or Oreos until dawn.

If you never played, you knew someone who did, and it was never really that nerdy until you got to high school. Then only the kids that smelled like sour milk, bad acne, and clothes that mom dressed them in played. They could be found playing in study hall or getting beat up by jocks. It took guts to carry the torch of roll playing. Those kids had balls of steel, they were martyrs of the gaming world. They took beating after beating just to play a game. Most of those kids grew up and became super cool after high school because they invented computer programs like Yahoo, Google and Myspace. Some discovered the guitar and are now putting out CD’s that you have in your Disc player. Some of them draw and then got into tattooing, those kids open up their own shops and tatty zap your ass and make bank out of it.

Some don’t grow out of it, they take it to the next level and to this day it blows my mind. Live Action Role Playing or L.A.R.P. is playing those dice games but acting it out as if it were real. They fully suit up and be a warrior, elf, beastman or wizard and wield a battle ax or double edged sword made out of Styrofoam and duct tape to attack their foes with. They take damage and make damage, casting spells and living out their fantasy as if the fantasy world were here and now. Nothing is as rewarding as gaining experience and/or a level because you and your guild destroyed a small army of goblins or a rival guild of mages** and knights.

I met up with a gaming group that rented out Wheeler Farm for the weekend. From start to finish the players remained in character, even while sleeping, during the event breaking character is frowned upon. I watched an argument between two players, they broke character and yelled the fuck out of each for some reason. I don’t know why. This shit was amazing, the first half hour I was there I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t ask any questions, I just stared at the weapons that were painted to replicate the real deal. There were about 12 girls and nine guys, in cloaks, chains or leather chest plates with metal spikes. The elves wore fake pointy ears, the wizards had mages** and their necromancers had little beanbags that they would throw at people to cast a spell, if the bag hit you then damage would be taken. As anyone would attack they would either call out damage, or a spell. Some of them would sing songs or play guitar to cast a spell to put the enemy in a trance.

At one point in the night there was a large battle on a knoll and it moved into a more forested area, we ran after them like spectators at a sporting event. As we chased after them it turned and came back toward us. I had to jump out of the way so not to be slayed with a huge broad sword that this guy pulled out of nowhere. “Thirteen normal, Thirteen normal*” was yelled out by this girl with a morning star as she hit him. I ran out of the way and didn’t hear what he said as hewas hit because a mage** threw beanbags and cast sleep on a few orks that were attacking.

When a player died he would act out his death, I was told that acting out your death in snow was better because when you fell the snow would poof out around you. Dying didn’t make you lose or have to exit the game, a necromancer or mage** would cast a spell and raise you to full or half strength to join back in. If you play a monster character like an ork or gobblin you just wait fifteen seconds or so and jump back in to attack. Mind you none of the contact made in the attacks will hurt, but if things get too intense you might get a bruise or two.

After that night, every time my friend or anyone says that they have no plans, I wish that we can all break in to a battle around town and fight monsters and armies. I would love to suit in armor and fuck some shit up. What ended up happening is that I’m too scared to join in and be a I can’t. I can’t take beatings. I can’t even come close to hanging number one, I’m too weird for even L.A.R.P.ers plus no one really understands the heart put into it. It’s not for nerds, it’s for people who got too bored with everyday life and stood up and said, “Fuck yeah, I’m a hero, I’m a wizard throwin’ magics!”

* The amount of damage that had been done
** A magician