Product Reviews – September 2012

Converse Turnover Sunglasses

Turnover and Overtime “Caution Tape” Sunglasses
Everyone knows Converse shells out the best gear around, and their sunglasses are no exception. I have been rocking the Turnovers for the last few months, which are my favorite in my optical arsenal. They not only have killer style, but great functionality, with rubberized matte black frames and polarized lenses. The Converse branding is minimal—there is a small red Converse Star/Chevron icon on each earpiece. The Turnovers are reminiscent of the Locs that Eazy-E always had on in the NWA days, but these will last you longer than two weeks. Most sunglasses tend to be loose on my head, but these gems hold on just right when I have them up on top of my head to hold my hair back. I can look up at whatever I am working on without the fear of them falling off and hitting the pavement. Converse is also putting out a similar pair of shades in September dubbed the Overtime “Caution Tape.” They have a gloss-black finish with a diagonal, yellow stripe design on the earpieces, resembling caution tape. The Overtimes share almost all of the same features as the Turnovers, and they look really good on my friend Melissa, but not so much on myself. Price-wise, a pair of each won’t drain your wallet—the Turnovers are a steal at $59 and Overtimes are just $65.  Protect your peepers in style, kids. –Eric Granato

So Beardly Journal
Aside from my journalistic musings in SLUG, I have been known to write some crappy song lyrics that I scream at people at Burt’s. It’s hard for me to write things like this on good ol’ college notebooks, though, because I feel like it’s some sort of assignment when I’m writing in the lines, so I opt for my word processor, which makes me feel removed from the “organic” process of “writing.” Denik, however, has got the pen back in my hand as I delve into the pre-mechanical stage of making “work.” The pages in my journal almost shine in their blank whiteness, which entices me to externalize whatever it is in my head, whether it be a laundry list or writing down the dream I had about the ghosts. My particular notebook includes a black-and-white illustration of a bearded sea god by artist McKay Felt, where the deity’s hair and beard flows along the spine and to the back of the notebook. The book is also flexible enough that you can fold it and put it in a narrow(er) pocket, but the notebook won’t crease. To put the cherry on top, a percentage of every sale goes to a worthy cause, mine being Mali Rising, which goes to build a school in Mali. Hit up their site to see which art options fit your taste, and to check out their notebooks, too! –Alexander Ortega

Bledsoe Low
I’ve usually associated Etnies with really lame things like frat boys, jocks, bros, ravers and Sheckler—I could have just said Sheckler, since he embodies all of the above. This shoe, on the other hand, has warped my perception of the brand entirely. The Bledsoe Low is Tyler Bledsoe’s pro model shoe, and is pretty on point. It offers a very minimalistic outward appearance, but camouflaged within its green suede are a number of functional bells and whistles. The grippy sole has an extension that blends into the suede to create an extra barrier against long days of repeated flip wizardry. The interior offers extra support to the heel by using a drawstring that is as easily hidden as is put to use. It is concealed underneath a flap on the tongue that is virtually undiscoverable to the uninformed or nonpurchaser. If the shoe already has enough support for your standards, you can always pull it out and use it to tie open a gate that’s harassing your shred. These shoes skate awesome. Good shape on the toe for showing your tricks who’s Tony Danza, and a thin sole for great board feel. The mesh lining makes your feet feel like they are getting chauffeured in a Beamer, Benz or Bentley, and also dries quickly after the inside of your shoe is turned into the Everglades after a day of getting awesome. You should consider getting wicked in a pair of these. –Dirk Hogan

Raspberry & Lemonade Lip Balm
“It’s all about making your next kiss into an EXPERIENCE!” exclaims the Kisstixx Facebook page. The idea (and grammatical incorrectness) was birthed by two “chemists” from none other than Orem’s prestigious Utah Valley University. Basically, they wanted to take smooching to the “next level” by providing those gullible enough with combos of complementary lip balm flavors that allow you and your tonsil-hockey opponent to “simply lock lips” to mix the flavors and get a refreshing gulp of raspberry lemonade, strawberries and chocolate, sweet and sour, even fire and ice! I gave my BF lemonade and smeared on the oily raspberry before our short-lived make-out sesh. The result: Not only did the two flavors taste almost exactly the same (straight sugar), kissing with all that gunk on our lips desensitized them, and the sugary sweetness of the flavor was making us gag. Plus, my BF would never put on flavored lip balm because he’s a real fucking man. Hey, Utah Valley, wanna take kissing to the next level? It’s called oral sex, and it also cums in a variety of flavors. –Esther Meroño

Mr. Peterson
When somebody told me this backpack had a skull on it, I didn’t think the entire backpack would actually bear the bony visage of death’s head. Not that I’m complaining or anything—the art looks appropriately menacing and detailed, and it’s definitely drawing a few second glances from people on the street. The cushioned straps feel comfortable, even on sunburnt shoulders, and its slight profile hides enough storage to easily lug around several textbooks, some hiking supplies and whatever else you need to have on your trip. The skull even has a clever little pouch for a mouth, where you can stick your wallet and keys for easy access. All told, this is a sturdy, stylish backpack with an emphasis on utility. After all, what good is a backpack that can’t hold all your stuff? A slight sticking point, however, is the oversized zipper for the main compartment. While it looks really cool, it gets stuck almost every single time I try to close it. Granted, all it takes is a couple of hard tugs to coax it along the track, but this minor inconvenience hinders you virtually every time you’re on your way out the door, which is pretty annoying. Otherwise, this is a great backpack for the upcoming school year, or for those looking to fix a hollow, bony gaze on everyone walking behind them. –Henry Glasheen