Skate News – October 2008

So everybody knows the Toyota AST Dew Tour was in town just a minute ago and our own hometown hero, Adam Dyet, was able to do his thing on his home turf. His qualifying run was flawless, but unfortunately his finals runs were not quite up to par for "Try it Dyet" and he ended up placing eleventh. Oh well, next year is always around the bend. Kendall Johnson and another local SLC skater were featured in a Fuel TV spot for the tour that aired on NBC mid September. Hopefully, Salty Peak's owner Dennis Nazari doesn't back out of the TV coverage credit promised for these two team riders.

Jared Smith: front board prior to the boot
Photo: Chris Swainston

In other news, Jared Smith got Evel Knievel on his ramp and tried to hop from the roof of the garage to the transition, which is a good 12+ feet on top of the already five foot tranny. He ended up going to the doctor to get his ankles checked out and it turns out he already had multiple fractures that he didn't even know about, what a hard ass. Unfortunately, he will be in a boot for the next two-four weeks.

Sean Hadley a.k.a. Dirty, is completely available and is now on the prowl for some poon tang. Ladies, if you have a valid drivers license that shows you're over 18, be on the look out for "Ol' Dirt McGirt" to be asking you to buy him a drink before he tries to get you out of that green space suit so you can show him your fat ass.

On an extremely ridiculous side note, the Salt Lake Valley Health Department passed an ordinance/law banning backyard miniramps in Salt Lake and outlying areas. Bollocks to that, what are they gonna do next, outlaw basketball courts in major parks and have everyone connected to their 50 inch plasma screen TV s via tracking anklets? What the fuck is the world coming to when public safety officers are telling you that you that you can't make any noise above the level of masturbating to scrambled porn? Health department? Sounds more like a "stay inside and make your lazy fat ass even lazier" department. Go online to and sign the petition to make being outside fun again. That's all the news for now, but if you have any other stuff that's untold or needs telling, email peterpanhandler@ to get him to do the talking for you.