Bold & Beautiful: Kay Bye

In a 2017 SLUG Magazine profile, Salt Lake City-based drag queen Kay Bye described herself with a line that’s stuck with many ever since: “I feel like I’m somewhere in the middle: too pretty to be a club kid and too weird to be a beauty.” Eight years later, that sentiment still resonates. Although now, Kay Bye is even harder to define.

“I’m more of a chameleon,” she says. “I can throw on a rhinestone gown with jewelry and coiffed hair, or show up in an out-of-the-box look. Drag is art, and art is always changing.”

That constant evolution has become a trademark of Kay Bye’s decade long career. “If there’s no change in what you’re doing, then why are you still doing it?” she asks. She has embodied a wide range of personas: from a self-described “cartoon queen” to “a gender villain” challenging expectations around gender. Today, she calls herself a “moustache muscle mommy.” Still, Kay Bye doesn’t shed past versions of herself — she integrates them as a part of her character development. “These are the parts of me that make me who I am today,” she says. “I don’t know when I’m going to die, but whatever happens, I don’t want this to be my ‘final form,’” referencing a quote from Dragon Ball Z villain, Frieza. 

“I can throw on a rhinestone gown with jewelry and coiffed hair, or show up in an out-of-the-box look. Drag is art, and art is always changing.”

While the weekends are typically filled with performances, Kay Bye has been using her weekdays to focus on her own personal fitness journey. “I kind of made working out my whole personality,” she jokes. The gym has become both a self-care routine and a creative tool. “I wanted to feel comfortable performing without padding. Some of my Pride performances this year have a ‘big reveal’ moment.” 

As colorful and chaotic as drag can be, Kay Bye is open about the darker sides of the lifestyle. “Drag is made to look fun,” she says. “You get paid to party. But at the same time, I was being destructive to my personal life, my relationships and my career. It wasn’t fun anymore.” She attributes her sobriety to controlling her own narrative, her commitment to professionalism and even being alive.

“Drag has moved more into the mainstream, and that helps more people see it for what it is — an art form. Just like painting, drawing or dancing. And art brings me joy. That’s all it is. It’s queer joy.” 

Now in her tenth year of drag, an era she’s dubbed “DEKAYDE,” Kay Bye is finally reaping the rewards of a craft honed through years of underpaid, cramped performances. “I used to perform for drink tickets and exposure; dancing on what was basically a milk crate,” she recalls. “Now I’m a full-time performer. I can pay my bills.”

She hopes to see Salt Lake’s drag scene grow into something even more vibrant and accessible. In her eyes, it is already a melting pot of different styles, perspectives and performance. “Drag has moved more into the mainstream, and that helps more people see it for what it is — an art form. Just like painting, drawing or dancing,” she says. “And art brings me joy. That’s all it is. It’s queer joy.” 

Kay Bye uses drag to challenge the boundaries of gender expression. “Drag was always an over-exaggeration offender, which is why I liked the moniker ‘gender villain.’ Gender is make-believe. Drag helped me discover my own gender identity as non-binary and made me more open-minded to what gender can be and is.”

Her looks are unpredictable. She says she has “the body of Megan Thee Stallion with the face of Steve Harvey.” She laughs, riffs, and expounds, saying “I’m Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo during the day and Wesley Snipes as Blade in the night. If none of that makes sense to you, my name is Dennis Rodman.” Her artistic riffs and references are wild and unpredictable, but provocative and engaging. If you’re willing to follow along and able to keep up, you get to experience the world briefly through her eyes.

At the heart of it all, Kay Bye’s message is one of radical self-determination and expressive freedom. “I will not accept a life I do not deserve,” she says. That energy informs what she calls her “Bye-sexual agenda,” a blend of joyful expression, art and ferocity, all fueled by chocolate milk and an ardent gym habit.

“Gender is make-believe. Drag helped me discover my own gender identity as non-binary and made me more open-minded to what gender can be and is.”

Kay Bye describes herself as a “living run-on sentence”, which is a fitting metaphor for her fluid, ever-evolving approach to drag. Every past version of herself is still a part of who she is today. From cartoon queen to gender villain to moustache muscle mommy, Kay Bye will never be in her ‘final form.’

To learn more about where Kay Bye will be performing, follow her on Instagram: @theonlykaybye

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