Top Twenty Reasons Skating is the Shit
If you skateboard, you are a far superior to all others who occupy the space that is rightfully yours. Here are 20 reasons that you are, and always will be, God’s gift to earth. Keep skating, eating your vitamins and going to school, for one day there shall be skating President of the United States; this could be you, if you’re that stupid.
20. Skating is everything in this world. If you skate, you are a hip trendsetter. The majority of the people on the planet want to be you (or at least look like you).
19. Skateboarding is one of the last forms of self-expression left on the planet, except for the other million forms.
18. There are no steroids in skateboarding. True athletes like beer and cigarettes (like bowlers and dart throwers).
17. You don’t have to be a ballerina anymore to wear tight ass pants.
16. Skateboards cost as much as they did fifteen years ago, unlike the price of gas per gallon.
15. Skateboarding is the solution to the world’s problems. Imagine everyone ollieing at the same time. I am sure this would make world peace happen.
14. Skateboarding is on T.V. now, almost as much as M.A.S.H. or The Real World.
13. Girls like skaters now, almost as much as they like money and clothes.
12. If you skateboard you can’t be a terrorist, can you?
11. Jesus fanatics finally are accepted.
10. Skateboards are like tattoos and assholes, everybody has one.
9. As far I know, no skaters have ever become serial killers. There was that GATOR thing though.
8. Punk is dead. Skating is the only punk.
7. You can hang out in the streets all day, just like a homeless person. The police will treat you all the same.
6. Professional skateboarders can earn millions of dollars, although most of them blow it all on drugs and strippers.
5. Skating is a good addiction. Crack, heroin and tobacco are not good addictions.
4. Skateboarders are the world’s largest gang.
3. More kids skateboard than play little league baseball. More kids huff glue world wide than any other past time.
2. You have an excuse to play, even when you’re forty years old.
1. Skating is fun.