Author: Peter Panhandler

Showdown at So-Jo: Bomb the Beehive

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On the weekend of September 20 through the 23 there were two professional skateboard events in town. One of them, the AST Dew Tour, had all the biggest stars, managers, videogames, pro-model hybrid cars, annoying announcers and, most of all, mega cash and a national television spotlight. During this event, Shawn White had a bitch fit and I don’t know if it was because he lost the vert event or because he doesn’t have a Pro-Activ endorsement. Ryan Sheckler was also making teenage girls’ hearts melt with his Beatlemania atmosphere. I don’t blame the kid, I just hate him; and no he is not the next Tony Hawk, mostly because Tony invented his own tricks and wasn’t a bitch like Sheckler.

South Jordan Skate Park hosted some serious skating on September 21. Known as the Bomb the Beehive contest, this event was coordinated by Brian Baade and, in my opinion, was a huge success. It was also the first of its kind in the Salt Lake Valley and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Since putting on such an event is no easy task, I commend Brian and all of the sponsors who helped out like, vitaminwater, go211.com, Milosport, South Jordan Parks and Recreation and Gardenburger. There was also a ton of local volunteers who helped make this thing happen as well as Analog, Bones Wheels and VOX kicking down some products for a giveaway.

As far as the skating goes at South Jordan, there was no shortage of professional and local talent battling it out for the two thousand dollars in cash prizes. Locals Austin Namba, Isaiah Beh, Levi Faust and Tyson Bowerbank all received some cash money for their efforts. Also ex-vert pro and now Utah resident Brian Pennington killed the bowl and kept heads turning. I know the World Cup of Skating judges, Tom Curran, Matt Milligan, Owen Nieder and President of the World Cup, Mr. Don Bostick, were more than impressed by the amount of local talent. Professionals on hand for the contest were: Rune Glifberg, Benji Galloway, Rodney Jones, Juian Ethridge, Chad Fernandez, Gumbie, Fabrizio Santos and Pete Eldridge.

Other highlights of the contest were announcer Dave Duncan, Darwin, being the first guy in a wheelchair shredding the bowl– and Tony Magnusson taking a taxi from downtown SLC to the event. I don’t know if taking the cab had anything to do with him being a corporate big wig or if it is just because he only has three fingers on one of his hands, making it hard to use a phone. I can’t wait until next year’s contest. Oh yeah, if you want to see the footage of this contest, just check YouTube or some other shit because there were plenty of dudes there with cameras.

Never Souled Out: the Troy Johnson Interview

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Skateboarding is the true fountain of youth, and anyone who has had the courage to ride one for the past 15-plus years is a hero. Skaters always talk about paying their dues, but to live through every era of modern skating has been a blast with no regrets except for the fact that you could have put more blood, sweat and injuries into it. I know my homey Troy can attest to this. We have been skating together since the 7th grade; now we’re in our thirties and well past our prime. The one aspect of skating that has never changed is its positive effect on our life. Sure we might not skate as much as we did in the past, but when we do skate nothing else matters and we feel the same as we did when we were kids. Except now there is a lot more frustration (it sucks when you can’t land a trick you did over 10 years ago). But hey, how many people find their passion in life at such an early age and know they’ll never give it up to anything short of the wheelchair?

Here is some insight into the life of one of Utah’s elite skaters. Sure, Troy ”ROIDS” Johnson might not be hurdling himself down 15 stairs with the trendiest flip tricks possible, but he’s already been there and done that. Don’t get me wrong, Troy can still hang with the best of them, but with more style and grace. Plus Troy works full time and has a family to attend to and that’s not even mentioning that his body is plagued with a lifetime of injuries both on and off the board. If you’re 18 and looking at the photos thinking “I can do all this shit, where’s my interview?” you are a hater. Troy is you, but only 15 years farther down the path of life. Johnson you’re the shit. Oh yeah, he shot all of his tricks in less than a couple of hours—just another day at the office for “ROIDS”.

SLUG: Heard you just went to the Black Pearl Skate Park in the Cayman Islands. How was it, was it better than sex?

ROIDS: Well, it’s the only sex that I am getting right now, so I would have to say yeah, it’s better than sex. I just got back a few weeks ago and I miss it already. The “Black Pearl” was so huge and it had everything imaginable to skate. Cayman is a great island with lots to do and super cool people. If you make it down there, be sure to stop by Calico Jacks and ask for Marty or Melissa; you won’t regret it.

SLUG: When was the last time you threw yourself down a set of stairs or onto a handrail?

ROIDS: Why do you have to bring up the past? I try and suppress hurtful experiences. I don’t know does South Jordan count?

SLUG: Who have been some of your favorite pro skaters over the years?

ROIDS: Which decade? I guess in the 80s I was into the vert scene so I liked Jeff Phillips (R.I.P.), Chris Miller, Lance Mountain, Gator “Surf Bag” Ragowski. In the late 80s and early 90s I liked Gonz for obvious reasons. The early Blind Team was so sick (Guy, Rudy etc.) Ray Barbee and Matt Hensley make my top-ten right now. I like a lot of different skaters for different reasons. Ronnie Creager is my all time favorite. Greg Lutzka can do anything. Joey Brezinski is a technical god and I like E-Man for his ability to destroy everything. [There are] way too many good skaters nowadays.

SLUG: Who have been some of your local favorites?

ROIDS: Okay, you have to allow me a little room here because I’ve been skating so long. In no particular order: Andy Wright, Andy Savar, Jerry Nuelle, You, Benny, Steve Fischer, Mark White, Jersey, Gabe D., Aaron Reeber, Tom “The Man” Blosch, Jason Grimes, Jason Murphy, Jeremy Jones, Steve White, Adam Romney, Ryan Marriot, Willy Syllvester, Dan Jones, Curtis Johnson, Chris Iba, Steve Richards, Andy Pitts, Joey Peck, Kurt Condrat, Ross Bangeter, Shane Justus, Aaron Taylor, Brandon Gregorson, Mark Winn, Isaiah B., Adam Dyet, Jared Smith, Dirty, Lizard, Jimmy Atkins, all the Ogden Heads, Tim Jones, Pat Stamps, Mike Sweet. I know [I] left out so many people who have inspired me to ride a skateboard (please forgive me).

SLUG: Where do you find time to skate between work, your job, your daughter and sleeping?

ROIDS: I find plenty of time to sleep, that’s for sure. I usually skate on Thursdays because its my day off work. Sometimes I get lucky and skate on the weekends. I share responsibilities with my ex-wife raising our daughter. So Tracy has her a lot.

SLUG: How old is your daughter? What is her name?

ROIDS: Her name is Brittain and she is seven years old. She is so rad. She makes everything in my life better. Don’t get any ideas guys! I wouldn’t let her near one of you. I love my angel!

SLUG: For those who don’t know you had a near death experience about two years ago. Care to elaborate on that one?

ROIDS: Well I was working for my parents and they needed me to go to some job-site in Draper. I wasn’t wearing a hard hat so that didn’t help. I remember waking up to like 15 construction workers all huddled over me. I was like what the hell happened? Apparently somebody had dropped a 12 or 14 foot two by four on my head knocking me out, and splitting my head open like a melon. The doctor said I had 60 plus stitches. It was pretty gross. I still have the pictures.

SLUG: Is skating as fun for you as it was back in the day? Why or why not?

ROIDS: Yes and no. Skating back in the day was so fun because it was so new. We were constantly testing the boundaries with our over-weight and inferior boards. It was fun to see what was possible. It also had more of a raw feel back then, like you had to try harder to be a skateboarder because it wasn’t accepted at all. We were a minority back then and no one wanted to dress like us. They hated us! Now it’s different everywhere you look it’s like skating is accepted. From parks popping up all over to anyone for that matter sporting around all sorts of skating apparel. I even heard skating is going to be in the 2012 Olympics. How strange is that? I don’t know it’s not worse now it’s just different. It’s good for the industry that it has blown as big as it has. But it lost its “us against the world” quality that really appealed to me. Kids getting into skating today have no idea what we had to go through to get skating where it is today. I think they are spoiled and don’t know how good they have it.

SLUG: Do you plan on skating for the rest of your life?

ROIDS: Well that depends. Is Bill Dorfman (80 years plus and started in his late 60s) is still alive and skating? I’ll skate as long as my body allows me to. I still love skating and I don’t see that ever changing. Roll forever!

SLUG: Anybody you want to thank for making you live this long?

ROIDS: Yes, my mom and dad and all of my family. You and your dad, Henry for taking me home from downtown all those years. I stranded myself down there on a weekly basis. My daughter Brittain, for showing me what’s really important. Her mother Tracy for raising our daughter so well. I want to thank all of my life long friends for all you’ve done and continue to do for me. Thanks for putting up with all of my shit. You all mean the world to me, thanks for being such good friends!

Random News From the Skate World – August 2007

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Thank God the sun is letting off a little less heat these days. Salt Lake was starting to seem more like Phoenix for a while there. That would be okay if we had as many empty and full swimming pools as they do. In unfortunate news, Adam Dyet will no longer be calling Utah home. He finally caved in and will be moving to California. Speaking of Adam, he killed it this summer in Europe during their contest series over there. I’m sure he made quite a new fanbase of euro trash. Adam was also given the thumbs up to be a contestant in the X-Games. That’s some really hard shit to come up on and I am sure Adam will make the most of his opportunities. He placed 13 in his first effort.

Globe Shoes is taking Mark White to accompany the team to the Cayman Island Skate Park. He is there being recruited for his filming and shred skills. Let’s hope the best for him. He is down there with likes of Mumford, Haslam, Appleyard, Gonzles and Thomas. I know that Darren Navarette is lurking hard down there as well. Think the weather in Utah sucks, well, in the Caymans it is about 94 degrees with 95 humidity. Now that really sucks.

Once again Slug Magazine’s Summer of Death Contest Series was a success. Our Secret Spot Contest was by far the summer’s best event. Whoever thought of that shit is a fucking genius. Oh shit, that would be me.

Looks like all you kiddies need to learn some manners and start putting your trash in the trash cans and stop tagging up the skate parks. Sandy Park a.k.a. Lone Peak will be closing its gates until you get it straight. If the problem continues looks like the bulldozers will be coming and that’s no joke. Same thing goes for South Jordan, remember we do live in one of the most conservative states in the union. If you like skating these parks and don’t want to pay to skate them from now on get your fucking act together. It’s little shits like you ruining the world for the rest of us. Also other cities trying to get parks will be looking at us closely to see if we can get the problem resolved. A new park will be popping up in Herriman in the nearest of futures in fact the bowl is already done. Heber is next in line and don’t forget about Rose Park.

On a more positive note, Vitamin Water will be sponsoring an event at the South Jordan Park. It will coincide with Dew Tour Event and will be held on September 21. It will be a skate jam and BBQ event. There might even be a best trick contest on the little rail and five stair. Look for some of your favorite pros to be there as well as some faces you don’t know.

Random News From the Skate World

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The Mystery/Zero squads rolled through town in late June to premiere the latest, I mean first, Mystery video. They did a demo and set up portable screen at South Jordan Skate Park. I heard a whole lot of tricks went down both live and on the screen. Dennis Durrant from Australia now rides for the company. I didn’t go to the demo, but wish I had because Dyet told me Keegan Sauder was destroying the bowl. Brad Herrera also jumped ship from Dark Star and is also on Mystery.

The Mountain Dew AST Tour will be in town September 20th – 23rd at the Energy Solutions Arena. If you want to see Ryan Sheckler, Bucky Lasek, Jereme Rogers and countless other fools doing choreographed contest runs; go check it out. Don’t forget Andy McDonald will be there as well with his yellow helmet. Depending on how well the event does or how much money they rake in will determine if Salt Lake will become a regular tour stop.

VOX Shoes has released their new Black & Blue Vol. 1 DVD. The shit is banging and free (I think). If you happen to see Tony Perez (VOX Rep.) around ask him for a copy, I’m sure he’d be happy to hook you up. The DVD has full parts of David Gravette (tons of Utah footage) and Brian “Slash” Hansen. There are plenty of other sweet gems from the rest of the team as well. J.T. Aultz has the gnarness.

Union Board Shop will be updating their street course for the fall and winter months. I assure you there will be no lame flat banks. Think speed and fluidity. By the way, paying five dollars for an air-conditioned mini-ramp session isn’t a bad deal unless you only skate vert or rails. If you happen to do both you should probably be given a free cookie.

Love him or hate him Lizard King doesn’t care. The kid has tapped into his tranquil side and has become the most hesh angler on the planet. On a recent deep-sea fishing adventure he reeled in the heaviest catch of the day, beating out fellow ripper/anglers Pat Duffy, Adam Dyet, Danny Fuenzalida and Chad Shetler. What’s next? Hang gliding, anyone? Oh yeah, Lizard now wears shoes from Osiris. How many shoe sponsors is that now?

Dyet’s part is chock full of heavy bangers in the new Digital DVD called Imagine. Peep that shit because it’s the goods. If your local skate shop doesn’t have it already, they are lame. Adam is currently doing the European Contest Series. Once again, if you have any valuable information or you just want to be an asshole please send me an e-mail at the above address.

Last but not least, Troy Johnson celebrated his birthday this last month on the 18th. His age has been disclosed, that’s what happens when you’re over 30 … oops I meant 25. Troy will be featured next month in an interview thing in this magazine. If you don’t know who Troy is you better recognize. He did every trick you’re thinking about doing ten years ago. Peace fools.

Random News From the Skate World

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It’s getting hot up in this piece as of lately and there is a lot of shit to talk about.
First and foremost, our best wishes go out to Jason “Jersey” Taylor who is having some medical problems. Get well brother and give a Mexican a call. Congratulations again to Mark White and Tennile Petty, now known to the world as Mr. and Mrs. Mark White. Congratulations also go out to Shawn McCumber and his girl Bonnie down in New Orleans; they have a bun in the oven. If you don’t know what that means, there is a beautiful child about to enter this world. Brian Baade some how has put together a professional contest at South Jordan Skate Park. That contest will be in the bowl for Christ’s sake. Props to you Brian, not good looks. SLUG Magazine’s very own Bob Plumb is entering Slap Magazines Photography Contest. Let’s hope he wins because that’s my dawg. In other skate park news, it looks like Rose Park will be getting one. I’ve heard it looks like a mini American Fork. When it’s built, be on the look out for board jackers and other lowlifes to be lurking hard. Look for that Automatic Magazine article on Dirty Hads in the next few months to come.Milo Sport hosted their annual Canyon Rim Handrail Contest and it was once again a success. Adam Dyet won with a kicky back tail and a kicky back lip. Lizard came in a close second with original style and a pole jam 180 over the stairs and a pole jam board slide on the rail. That shit was sick. Oliver got third with blah, blah and blah, not necessarily in that order. Zinelli had a proper suski grind and almost got the 180 out, backside of course. Little Brandon also showed everyone how to do a sweet ass looking kickflip.More skate park news. Looks as though we’ll have to wait until the end of August to find out the final verdict on whether Fairmont will be getting lights for the skate park. It’s pretty much a go though. See what happens when you get involved with city planning meetings and such? Also, it seems that Quail Hollow Park (9000 S. 2700 E.) originally had plans to be built with a skate park in it. The new plans, however, don’t. Instead they have basketball courts, baseball diamonds and a dog park. These news plans are under scrutiny and review as of now. Voice your opinion at planning@sandy.utah.gov or Nancy Shay 801-568-2900.Utah the land of mayonnaise and skate parks – I’m in heaven.

Oh yeah, the Matix Am team was seen rolling through the valley with Jordan Williams on hand along with Lamare Hemmings, Torey Pudwill, Boosch, Mike Mo and my favorite Marty Murawski. Remember to watch your language and bad behavior (smoking cigarettes and dope, which now constitutes you being a bully) if you’re at Sandy’s Lone Peak Park. Surprise visits by Sandy’s Mayor have closed the park and officially put all you little turds on probation. Now, off-duty police officers will be attending the night sessions. Don’t think they won’t do it again. If you want to cause a ruckus go to 9th and 9th. No one cares about anything there. Just kidding.

SLUG Magazine in conjunction with the Summer of Death Contest Series is stoked to announce our “Red Bull – Why I want to go to Woodward Contest” The nice people at Red Bull have put up a scholarship for a free session at Woodward West Skate Camp in California. All you have to do is write us an essay saying why you’re the best little trooper to go on this mission. Don’t worry – we won’t judge you like your schoolteachers do. We don’t care about grammar, spelling or any of that stuff. We just want the best heartfelt reason you should be there. Adults meaning anyone over 18 are not allowed to enter. The winner will be announced at the Summer of Death Secret Locations Contest on August 11th at the award ceremony. Send your essay to Slug Magazine at www.slugmag.com or to 351 Pierpont Ave. Ste. 4B SLC, UT 84101. If your parents are OG enough to have a fax machine, send it to 801-487-1359. Become the next Ryan Sheckler at Woodward West.

SLC TATTOO CONVENTION: Tattoos, Brews and No Clues

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Tattoos. That part should be completely self-explanatory, unless of course you are completely brain dead. Brews. I must have drank a hundred dollars worth of these bad boys all three days of the convention. I know I sound like an alcoholic, but at least I am an alcoholic who can support all of his moocher-ass friends. No clues. These are what you have after drinking a hundred dollars worth of beer, three days straight.

Time to get serious now. This was the fourth year of the SLC Tattoo Convention, and it seems to be running as smooth as possible. C.J. Starkley, the event coordinator put a lot of time and effort into this year’s convention. I know that when most people think about a tattoo convention they envision Hell’s Angels, strippers, dirt bags and only Satan knows what else. I’m not going to say that these genres of people weren’t present, because I happened to be hanging out with some of them but the overall scene of the convention was a clean, open-minded environment. People from all walks of life (and West Valley) could be seen having a good time. You don’t have to be covered in tattoos to appreciate great artwork.

There is something for everybody to enjoy at the convention regardless of whether you’re getting inked up or not. Most people stroll through the isles checking out some of the best tattoo artwork from all over the world. There was a children’s play area for the little tikes to wear themselves out on. God, I wish I were a little kid again instead of an old drunk. Seems like skating and tattoos hold some kind of common ground due to all of the skate deck art that could be seen at many of the booths. I also smelled a certain Lizard King getting a fresh tattoo from some guy from North Carolina. Apparently this guy doesn’t seem to mind hooking up a brother with minimal cash flow. I tried to get Lizard to get his genitals pierced at one of the piercing booths but he declined, saying he would do it later when there weren’t a thousand onlookers.

The highlight of the weekend for me had to be the mechanical bull. I’ve seen Urban Cowboy a million times so I’ve always wanted to take my chances on one of these things. After drinking a pint of whiskey and a few bottles of beer, I was convinced by the lads at Lost Art to get on the thing. I knew that they just wanted me to eat shit so that they could get some cheap laughs. And that’s exactly what they got. I could only ride that bucking bronco for about ten seconds on the lowest difficulty level before being thrown to the ground. Now I know why cowboys wear tight ass Wranglers instead of loose jeans. I walked away with instant pant chaffing and bruises on the insides of my legs.

At the end of everyday of the convention there were contests held where cash prizes and trophies were awarded. Every category was covered—from best sleeve, best back and even best booth. There was also a daily best tattoo award given out. Throughout the weekend bands and dancers performed on a stage set up near the mechanical bull. I didn’t get to check out Saturday’s performers, but I was however blessed to see the beautiful ladies of the Blue Lotus Dance Collaborative. Belly Dancing is so hypnotic and erotic.

Thanks once again to Nate Drew, C.J., all of the volunteers, sponsors and workers of the event. The booths were astonishing and it was nice to see so much talent in one place. I don’t know how many other tattoo conventions are held across the nation, but I sure am glad to see one here in my own backyard. Thanks to the Salt Palace for holding the event. I should be getting out of rehab right around the same time that the Fifth Annual will be starting.

Random News from the Skate World – February 2007

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When SLUG asked me to do an interview with Isaiah Beh, I was pretty sure that I could get a few answers out of him but I knew he would keep most of his skeletons in the closet. So I decided to write a story instead, and besides, who likes to read interviews anyway?

The day started out in golden dew, which I found very odd for the beginning of December. After eating my bowl of generic version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I was off to meet with the photographer, who had promised me a ride the night before. We were to meet Isaiah at his baby-mama’s work and go skate from there. We had some time before we had to leave, so Chris Swainston challenged me to a game or two upon his billiard table. Three losses later, it was time to go and Chris took what little money I had left in my pockets, grabbed his camera equipment and we proceeded to the designated pickup spot. Upon our arrival Isaiah met us with a friendly middle finger and some derogatory comments (locals hate us media vultures). I could tell he was in a good mood because he was flaunting his trademark smile, gap and all. He hopped into the truck and we started driving to the local skatorium to get warmed up for the photos Chris would be shooting later. On the ride we discussed politics, religion, global warming and, among other things, chess.

“Have you played Dr. Tully Flynn lately?” I asked my counterpart.

“Yeah, he beat me last time we played. Every time he beats me I get bombarded with phone messages from him calling me ‘Fish’ and asking me how it felt when his castle put me in check and stuff like that,” Isaiah said with a smile, “ but it’s still twenty games to three for me so I don’t really mind.”

Somebody mentioned food so we decided to stop at Millie’s for some cheap hamburgers. Two burgers, some fries and a game of skate in the parking lot was enough motivation and sustenance to move us onto the skate park for some fun. After getting warmed-up and picking up Levi Faust, we continued to drive around trying to find a spot to skate for a few hours. The first spot had too much traffic. The second spot, not enough traffic. And the third spot was snowed out. It seemed like even though it was a wonderful day to skate, we weren’t going to find anything that we actually could skate. Then just as we were about to give up, Isaiah said he might know of one more spot that we could go. It was partly covered with snow but that wouldn’t deter us now. Armed with a shovel (well, actually, it was just a plank of wood), Isaiah supervised while Chris shoveled away. Isaiah took a picture of Chris hard at work, looked at me and laughed, handed me the camera and skated off. After it was all clear, Isaiah, Levi and myself continued to skate the gap until it was time to go. Chris had to go to work at his other job so he dropped us off at F and Sixth. When we got inside his house, Isaiah taught me a new song on the guitar. We jammed out for a little while and then Dirteo and Juliette came upstairs and Snuggles came in a few seconds after that. After some pizza and television entertainment, we went back outside for another game of skate. It was a little busy in the road so we went across the street to the underground parking lot. After an hour or so of skate, we headed back up to the house where we all cuddled up next to the fire with some hot chocolate and Christmas carols. We sang until the fire died down and one by one we all fell asleep. What a day.

Isaiah’s shout outs- Salty Peaks, Mark White, Erie Jeri, Bommy Borgan, Money Money Boom Ba, Brian Fellows. Oh, and happy birthday Zayuh.

Skate Nerd Trivia

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Do you want to win an autographed Dark Star board signed by Adam Dyet? Be the first person to e-mail me all the correct answers to the trivia questions below, and the board is yours. If no one sends all the correct answers, the person who sends in the most correct answers first will win the prize. Get your google on and win, and remember, Adam is on his way to the top of the pro ranks soon. This board will be worth more than your life on eBay in a few months. The winner will be announced in next month’s issue.

1. Who did the first frontside board slide on a handrail? (Hint: They were #1 on my Top Ten list of best styles in last month’s issue.)

2. Who did the first switch back lipslide on a rail? (Hint: His initials are R.B.)

3. What team did Brian Anderson ride for before Girl?

4. What team did Rick McCrank ride for before Girl?

5. What is the name of Lizard King’s skate gang?

6. Who did the biggest back nose blunt on a rail? (Hint: You’re trying to win a board autographed by him.)

7. Who invented the McTwist or 540 air?

8. What skate shoe brand has been around the longest?

9. Who invented the kickflip?

10. What is Andrew Reynold’s nickname?

Top Twenty Reasons Skating is the Shit

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If you skateboard, you are a far superior to all others who occupy the space that is rightfully yours. Here are 20 reasons that you are, and always will be, God’s gift to earth. Keep skating, eating your vitamins and going to school, for one day there shall be skating President of the United States; this could be you, if you’re that stupid.

20. Skating is everything in this world. If you skate, you are a hip trendsetter. The majority of the people on the planet want to be you (or at least look like you).

19. Skateboarding is one of the last forms of self-expression left on the planet, except for the other million forms.

18. There are no steroids in skateboarding. True athletes like beer and cigarettes (like bowlers and dart throwers).

17. You don’t have to be a ballerina anymore to wear tight ass pants.

16. Skateboards cost as much as they did fifteen years ago, unlike the price of gas per gallon.

15. Skateboarding is the solution to the world’s problems. Imagine everyone ollieing at the same time. I am sure this would make world peace happen.

14. Skateboarding is on T.V. now, almost as much as M.A.S.H. or The Real World.

13. Girls like skaters now, almost as much as they like money and clothes.

12. If you skateboard you can’t be a terrorist, can you?

11. Jesus fanatics finally are accepted.

10. Skateboards are like tattoos and assholes, everybody has one.

9. As far I know, no skaters have ever become serial killers. There was that GATOR thing though.

8. Punk is dead. Skating is the only punk.

7. You can hang out in the streets all day, just like a homeless person. The police will treat you all the same.

6. Professional skateboarders can earn millions of dollars, although most of them blow it all on drugs and strippers.

5. Skating is a good addiction. Crack, heroin and tobacco are not good addictions.

4. Skateboarders are the world’s largest gang.

3. More kids skateboard than play little league baseball. More kids huff glue world wide than any other past time.

2. You have an excuse to play, even when you’re forty years old.

1. Skating is fun.

Random News From the Skate World – May 2007

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Hell yeah, spring is here. The sun is shining and it’s nice to just be alive. Skateboarding is still making the world go around, maybe not,  but at least skating makes the dogs bark and bite though. Some things will never change.

If you haven’t heard, Adam Dyet is the fucking man. He took home thirty grand from Globe Shoe Company’s Double Set Attack in Australia. In the process he landed a spot on the already chalked full of talent Globe Shoe Team. It is pretty gnarly to win your first professional contest. Adam followed it up with a third place finish in the best trick contest at the Tampa Pro Event. Keep up the good work.

Sam Hubble is hooked up with the Girl Skateboards flow program. That’s just as good as being professional on a lot of other teams. The young Jedi is always training his skills. It shouldn’t be long until he is skating side by side with legends like Mariano, Koston, Carroll and McCrank. Keep smiling little gremlin, it’s mandatory on that team.

If you didn’t know, Mike Zanelli is turning heads. Wait…I don’t think he even knows. Seen Nash Saxton skate as of late? It doesn’t look like he took off any time this winter for snowboarding. The kid has mad skills. He is hooked by Quicksilver Shop and is working on a deal with Wendy’s. The south-western taco salad makes his engine purr.

Look for Sean Hadley to be coming out with an article in a future issue of Automatic Magazine. Sean is the shit and soon the rest of the world shall know this. Oliver Buchanan has been blah, blah, blah blah. That’s just the way he likes it. Actions speak louder than words.

Oh yeah, what the fuck is up with Lizard King’s haircut. Leave that shit in Hollywood son. Bob Plumb was hired as a head shot stand-in on those Geico Insurance commercials. You know the ones where they say “It’s so easy a caveman could do it”. David Gravette just rolled through town with some Arizona heads. He just jumped from the Duff’s shoe squad over to the greener pastures of VOX shoes. Not bad, but it’s no Vans. Peace out bitches, I’m going to torture myself across the Atlantic Ocean.