Harrison Gordon—50/50 to nose tap over closeout—SLC, Utah
Now that Shaun White has finally been dethroned as the face of snowboarding to the outside world, there is much speculation that he may retire and finally go away for good. Don’t worry, I’m sure Target will continue to sell all his signature products, including the three models of Razor scooters that all bear his name. While few would actually miss the flying tomato’s participation in snowboarding, there could be a sense of yearning for a new long-locked ginger king. Pat Moore would seem an obvious replacement, as he is the undisputed wizard among his melanin-depleted brethren, but the only full locks left on his head grow from his face. The red, fiery flame of the ginger torch burns bright, and it is my not-so-humble opinion that we should place it in the hands of one Harrison James Gordon. Mark my words, and sleep well knowing a new king will soon be crowned.