Dear Dickheads – May 2005

Share this:Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+0Pin on Pinterest0

The death of Pope John Paul is a great victory for the state of Utah. In our long-standing battle against the presumptuous Catholic religion, we have always been held back in the eyes of influential atheists and non-Christians due to our attacks on a man that many people (even non-Catholics!) thought was a good, decent and spiritual man. They did not understand what he was doing to them with his peaceful façade, never letting the public know how he strived to convert the entire world to Catholic. He was a fool and a dangerous one at that, but not many could see that other than those of us in the state of Utah that fought against him using internet Live Journals, advertising campaigns, and most importantly the power of Jesus Christ. I found an issue of your magazine in my daughter’s backpack and although I do not agree with your publication or content, the atheist population of Utah must band together with the Christian non-Catholic population of Utah at this time to fight against the new tyrant that has just gotten the title of pope, Pope Benedict XVI. He is a German and was a Nazi. He was born in the twenties and did not leave Germany. We must work together to bring this information to light so as to expose this man for what he is. I invite you, the publishers, and any readers to join our the crusade that’s happening right here in Utah as we speak. If you believe in our cause please speak out. Our phone number is (801) 240-3500.

Aspen Walton


There have been some fucking creeps that have written to me over the years to bitch about this and that and whatever (bouncers, pedophiles, mothers, English teachers, etc.), but your’s is by far the fucking creepiest letter I have ever received. I can’t imagine what god-awful suburban hellhole you crawled up from (or sit in while concocting conspiracy theories) but wherever it is, please stay there. I’m assuming you’re of the “Greater Faith” of Utah by the way you spit your anti-Catholic propaganda in the name of “the state of Utah,” but FYI, you’re written to the wrong Dickhead. Fuck religion and your great State and fuck the Pope (the dead one and the living one) and FUCK YOU. Props to your daughter for reading SLUG, though. Hopefully she’ll learn one day to pick and choose her crusades wisely, and learn that her mom is a dumb fucking cunt (she probably already knows).