dear dickheads
Dear Dickheads – October 2012
Hey Comon
SLUG Monkey’s zzz —
The best music is at Gardener Village Farmer’s Market. We’ll kick your little Lamenite butts. & you know it.
–Gary Stoddard … read more
Dear Dickheads – September 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I would like to comment on your first story in Dear Dickheads [Issue #281 and #284]. I would like to comment how I use to be thin and the cops made me 300 lbs. And I’ve been homeless since 3-12-2012. Do to a pig that kicked me out of my home against the law. I didn’t threaten anyone again. … read more
Dear Dickheads – August 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I just would like to comment on peoples comments about cops being fat. [Issue #281, May 2012]
First of all, don’t underestimate the strength or how fast someone is on their weight. Look at pro football players – they are not exactly skinny – are they retarded. … read more
Dear Dickheads – July 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I have been downhill skating since high school and I’m curious why SLUG chooses to shun this scene from the pages of the mag. The action sport section is filled with profiles on street skaters, snowboarders, skiers, occasional bmxers and even fixed gear freestyle kids, but I don’t think SLUG has ever written a piece on the downhill skating scene, which quite frankly, is thriving. … read more
Dear Dickheads – June 2012
Dear Dickheads,
Early in May, Hope Woodside of Fox 13 did a story about how Club Velour is the “center of the scene.” Now, no offense to the owners and employees of Velour—I’m sure that they invest a lot of effort into what they do, and Provo is undoubtedly fortunate to have them around to a degree … But what the fuck does Hope Woodside know about “the scene? … read more
Dear Dickheads – May 2012
Dear Dickheads,
There are not many reasons I pick up your mag every month. I really do enjoy Mike Brown and the Princess, and there’s usually one band that I care enough about to at least read the article. But for the past few months I’ve been a pretty upset over the lack of mildly pornographic Blue Botique [sic] ads. … read more
Dear Dickheads – April 2012
Hey Dickheads,
I barely see anything political in SLUG, and I wanna know what you guys think about the recent bills on sex education and abortion … read more
Dear Dickheads – March 2012
Hey Dickheads,
I’m reading the latest copy of your fine publication, and I’m confused, and a little offended by a statement made by you “dickheads”. The statement “if you can buy a band’s shirt at JC Penney, that band sucks,” is a pretty dumb thing to publish. You were referring to Pink Floyd in this instance. I don’t know if you guys just aren’t musicians, or have down syndrome, but Pink Floyd deserves some respect from you hipsters. … read more
Dear Dickheads – February 2012
Dear Dickheads,
On August 26, RadioActive aired a show asking the question “why are there not more female-fronted rock bands in Utah?” I called in and stuck my foot in my mouth, in a sense. I said that I feel it may have something to do with folks looking up to their favorite bands as idols rather than people just like themselves expressing their ideas through music. … read more
Dear Dickheads – January 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I live in the same neighborhood as your wonderful establishment: Pierpont Avenue. I’m wondering if any of you are also living an episode of Parking Wars, as am I. You see, I’ve been living in the area for over three years now, and didn’t have a car until recently, but now that I have one, I spend more money on parking tickets than I do on fucking gas! … read more
Dear Dickheads – December 2011
SLUG defends Princess Kennedy and declares that all cops are bastards. … read more
Dear Dickheads – November 2011
Dear Dickheads,
I am at the ripe age of 19. I can stroll into any smoke shop around this town and purchase enough stogies to take out a lung. I can write in whoever the fuck I feel like on a presidential voting ballot. I can get married and start poppin’ out wee ones. You know what I can’t do? Go see a damn band play live. … read more
