Mike Brown: Beard Guy

Mike Brown: Beard Guy
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It’s official: I’m now a beard guy. I realized this while I was at work the other day. Another man with a beard commented on my beard, then gave me a compliment for it. I didn’t realize it until after the encounter, but he was expecting some sort of positive reciprocation about his beard. … read more

MIke Brown: Technology with Jon Larsen

MIke Brown: Technology with Jon Larsen
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Anytime I need anything done regarding technology, I rely on my close friend, Jon Larsen. Whether it’s pirating software for my stupid Mac or just help figuring out my remote control, his vast knowledge of wires and everything electronic comes in handy. I thought that he would be the perfect guy to interview about technology. … read more

Mike Brown: Moving

Mike Brown: Moving
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I lived in the same apartment for 12 fast years. Time flies when you are as drunk as I am. Several roommates had come and gone: some complete deadbeats, some amazing lesbians whom I never had to ask to clean, and one methhead who took down all my blinds for no reason and stole my watch. … read more

Mike Brown’s Crafting Disasters

Mike Brown’s Crafting Disasters
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I’m no good at making anything. Luckily, we live in a society where you don’t really have to be good at making anything or doing anything. For anything I would actually need done or made, there’s someone or some company I can hire to do it for me. The only craft or service I consistently supply for myself, I guess, would be masturbating. … read more

Mike Brown’s State of the Union Address, but for Juggalos

Mike Brown’s State of the Union Address, but for Juggalos
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First and foremost, I need to preface this article with the fact that I, Mike Brown, am not a Juggalo. I know a lot of you don’t believe me when I say that, but it’s a fact. I’m more of an ambassador that can speak their ridiculous and not-so-cryptic language. As I’ve stated before, I am their Jane Goodall and they are my chimps.  … read more

Mike Brown’s Ride-a-Long: Viva la Magna!

Mike Brown’s Ride-a-Long: Viva la Magna!
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Oh, the beloved Beer Issue—close to my heart and even closer to my liver. As usual, I get to use the Beer Issue as a chance to twist some tops and bend some elbows on someone else’s dime while pretending to write a serious article, and it’s the one time of year where the SLUG editors can’t give me any shit for writing my column drunk. It’s possible to slur in an article—if you’ve ever read any of my zines, then you already know that.   … read more

Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Mike Brown’s Big Adventure

Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Mike Brown’s Big Adventure
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Me and my bike are much like P.W. Herman—before he ever masturbated in public—and his special two-wheeler, in that we have both been on many adventures together. Both of our bikes have been stolen and retrieved with little aid from proper authorities, as clearly evidenced in the famous ’80s documentary, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. My tale of thievery is a bit different, but there are several parallels.   … read more

Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Ogling the Olympics with Faye Gulini

Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: Ogling the Olympics with Faye Gulini
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Growing up in the Salt Lake shred scene, running into a pro shred head really isn’t a big deal. I’ve shared beers and blunts with several of them over the years, but they shall remain nameless due to the industry’s tendency toward drug testing these days. I’ve never had the chance to share a beer with a pro who got a taste of the Olympics, until Faye Gulini was kind enough to split a pitcher with me and her BF, Lil Jeff. … read more

Mike Brown: Soccer, Beer and Piss Bombs—Kickin’ It with Nick Rimando

Mike Brown: Soccer, Beer and Piss Bombs—Kickin’ It with Nick...
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According to my drunk friend, Danny, who is an RSL season ticket holder and sometimes takes me to games, Nick is “like, the best dude ever!” So I figured I’d better interview him. … read more

Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: House Party!

Mike Brown’s Monthly Dirt: House Party!
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I’m not a big fan of house parties these days—I prefer my drinking on the idle comfort of a barstool or in the cozy confines of my couch. Maybe that’s why I usually end up acting like such a jackass when I go to a house party.  … read more