Authors: Dickheads
Dear Dickheads – November 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I would just like to point out a tragedy that is befalling our youth and young adults these days, and that is the “swag movement”. And for the love of God, please stop saying YOLO for fucking everything. You really do only live once, so you probably shouldn’t be a douchebag in the process. … read more
Dear Dickheads – August 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I just would like to comment on peoples comments about cops being fat. [Issue #281, May 2012]
First of all, don’t underestimate the strength or how fast someone is on their weight. Look at pro football players – they are not exactly skinny – are they retarded. … read more
Dear Dickheads – July 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I have been downhill skating since high school and I’m curious why SLUG chooses to shun this scene from the pages of the mag. The action sport section is filled with profiles on street skaters, snowboarders, skiers, occasional bmxers and even fixed gear freestyle kids, but I don’t think SLUG has ever written a piece on the downhill skating scene, which quite frankly, is thriving. … read more
Dear Dickheads – September 2012
Dear Dickheads,
I would like to comment on your first story in Dear Dickheads [Issue #281 and #284]. I would like to comment how I use to be thin and the cops made me 300 lbs. And I’ve been homeless since 3-12-2012. Do to a pig that kicked me out of my home against the law. I didn’t threaten anyone again. … read more
Dear Dickheads – January 2015
Dear SLUG;
You seem to be in the know (or at least pretend to), so what the fuck is up with Geeks Who Drink and Trivia Factory invading our bars? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional quiz night with friends from one of the locally-created games, but these bullshit monstrosity quiz nights have invaded our valley and turned every night of the week into a super-strict by-the-book yelling match between nerds. … read more
Dear Dickheads – March 2013
Dear Dickheads,
I’d like to comment on your column for last month’s Beautiful Godzilla. I find it kind of sad and pathetic that you’re so judgmental of cyclists whom you consider “granola.” I mean, you may not have had to duck and binge so hard if you just open up to different types of people and enjoy yourself in the company of somebody showing you something that might be new. … read more
Dear Dickheads – April 2013
Dear Dickheads,
I think its about time we addressed the pollution levels in Utah and along the Wasatch Front by putting the governor and mayors up to confronting a serious health problem that they continue to dance around with words instead of actions. … read more
Dear Dickheads – June 2013
Dear Gotti,
As the roommate of two lesbians, I feel ya, man. Imagine two sets of pitchy groans …and this is what it really comes down to … IMAGINE two sets of pitchy groans. … read more
Dear Dickheads – February 2013
Dear Dickheads,
I’m currently dating a local musician. I’ve always had a personal rule to stay away from them, but this one was too cute to resist. I was wondering if you might have some advice on how to avoid the usual things that come with a relationship with a “rock star.” … read more
Dear Dickheads – August 2013
A few months ago, Madball was supposed to come here with Suicidal Tendencies but ended up dropping off the bill because a certain promoter told them that “hardcore had been banned from SLC.” … read more
Dear Dickheads – July 2013
I read the article on Salt City United in your June issue and my jaw dropped open. The author was clearly biased, or maybe too wrapped up in her shitty version of gonzo journalism and identity issues to see these assholes for what they truly are: a bunch of has-been nobodies trying to keep the “hardcore dream” alive by transferring their daddy issues and bully mentality to a different stage/stadium. … read more
Dear Dickheads – May 2013
Dear Adam,
Goddammit, I just wanna rip your idealistic little heart out, chew on it, spit it on the ground, light it on fire, then flip it off as I laugh and watch pieces of you burn into oblivion … but I can’t. … read more