Authors: Princess Kennedy
Princess Kennedy: Resolutions are for Fat People
Wasn’t NYE 2011 just last month? I tend not to make resolutions because, quite frankly, they are for quitters and fat people, of which I am neither. Those of you who are, please do a favor for those of us that go to the gym regularly. The last thing we want is to have to dodge your fat ass and wait for you to finish the 15 minutes that you can barely get through on the treadmill. … read more
Princess Kennedy: Got Any Sexy Pics?
I got a message from a really hot guy asking me out. Turns out he’s 19, follows my writing and mustered up the courage to ask me out. “Holy shit,” I thought to myself, “Can I do that?” Why the fuck not, I decided. He’s only a couple of years younger than me and I look great for a 33-year-old (fuck you), and who doesn’t jump at a chance to get it on with a horny 19-year-old? So I did. … read more
Princess Kennedy: Tranny Get Your Gun
The rash of fag bashing that we experienced this fall scares the shit outta me because I walk in the same areas all the time, alone. After these incidents, there was a sort of community panic about how to be safe, stay safe and send a message. This became an outcry for vigilantism. Not pepper spray, tasers, karate or common sense—it went straight to “I’m getting a gun.” … read more
Princess Kennedy: Gaybonics
At the beginning of the year, the 801 was bestowed with the honor of being named the gayest city in America by Advocate Magazine. This came as a shock to parts of the country, but, as I explained it to my friends, we have the most gays per capita, and I think all of Salt Lake already knew how gay we are. I thought that since you are surrounded by gays on every side, Professor Princess could help you converse with us LGBTQs and teach you the new Polari: Gaybonics. … read more
Princess Kennedy: I Ought to Be in Pictures
Not too long ago I received a letter in my inbox from McCarty Talent. It was an agent who, as it turns out, I knew from San Francisco and has relocated to SLC. Fernetta Gingerback, as I knew him, told me that there was a role that I was born to play and that I should contact the agency ASAP for the exciting details about the production and audition. That was the huge turn off. When I hear the word “audition,” I instantly get sweaty and clammy, because that word translates to “rejection.” … read more
Princess Kennedy: We Can Be Queeroes, Just For One Day
Holy skid marks, Batman! On June 3, SLUG celebrates LGBTQ Pride. It’s safe to say it’s easily the most extravagant SLUG event of the year. We’ve put a lot of effort into our past contingents, and this year will be no different. SLUG people are people of tolerance who fight for the rights and safety of all. We will shout this out from the streets on Pride and we want all that heed this call to help us on our super hero-themed float. … read more
Princess Kennedy: Flea the Scene
It’s summer in Salt Lake City, and you know what that means: flea markets! Salt Lake City is lucky enough to have two really cool and really different markets: the Urban Flea Market, started by Kate Wheadon and Michael Sanders, and the Salty Streets Flea Market, started by SLUG’s very own Karamea Puriri and her buddy Audrey Gallegos. While one is a flea market and the other is more of a down-home gypsy market, they both serve a purpose. … read more
Princess Kennedy: A Halloween to DIY For
My Halloween wish, if you will, is for people to bring the imagination back into their costumes—a little bit of humor or some extreme gore. I want to see the craft put back into “witchcraft!” It’s easier than you think, and some of my best costumes were made at the last second. Here are a few of Princess Kennedy’s household tips to a tran-tastic Halloween costume. … read more
Princess Kennedy: Please Feed the Animals
I would love a pet––the companionship, the unconditional love. Unfortunately, my lifestyle is one that lends to not afford such a luxury. I started to think of how I could curb such cravings, and this led me on a hunt to seek out an alternative. Turns out you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one of Utah’s many heartfelt facilities for our furry and feathered friends. We have so many shelters and rescues to choose from, that are always filled to capacity and never have enough volunteers. … read more
Princess Kennedy: My Kiki is Burning!
Quite simply, a kiki is a party where you sit around with your besties and talk shit on people. It’s part of a vintage gay dialect created in the ’80s among the ghetto fabulous ballroom culture. In the heyday of these “Paris balls” in the late ’80s, a Ms. Jennie Livingstone thought it would be interesting enough to make a documentary called Paris Is Burning, and I, for one, am glad she did, ’cause it’s one of the most important pieces of documented history of gay subculture. … read more