Authors: Mike Brown
Fuck the Informer: By the Numbers
Fuck The Informer is a band that I like. But they don’t like SLUG and said that they didn’t want any of their music reviewed in the mag. So I told them that I was doing a survey, just like a sneaky telemarketer. I guess that makes me an informer, ha! Fuck me! I’ll leave
Mike Brown: Tinder Bender
It’s amazing what our phones can do these days. They’re little computers in our pocket that keep us all warm at night and do everything for us. In fact, to me it’s strange that we are even still calling them phones. Phone calls are the thing I least use my phone for. Among the many apps in Cyber Land, there are several that will supposedly help you get laid, go on a boring date or meet a life partner—whichever you prefer. The most popular one is probably Tinder. … read more
How to Run Away From Home
I’ve been writing a lot of articles for grown-ups lately like the controversial John Amichi interview to the history of drinking in Utah. It’s time I do my part and write something for the kids … like a how-to article on how to run away from home. I figure that if some kid needs to
A Short History of Drinking in Utah
Every profession has their masters. These people are good at what they do; they’re well respected within their professions by their peers. And sometimes these people leave behind a legacy. “Karen” is one such person in the profession of getting people wasted, more commonly known as bartending. I’ve been learning the trade myself and I
Ryan Jensen
SLUG asked me to interview Ryan Jensen. I’ve known Ryan a long time. My old band, The Fucktards, used to play with his old band, The Corleones. We stopped playing shows together because one night Ryan tried to kill me. Terrence managed to intervene that night so I wouldn’t die, but then Ryan and I
Mike Brown: The Joys of Cooking
I spent a brief period of my work career in the trenches of a restaurant kitchen—not cooking, of course, as you will learn that I suck tremendously at morphing ingredients into edible contents. Alas, I basically only learned one thing from these experiences—that there are only two kinds of cooks in the kitchen: the happy chef and the angry chef. … read more
The Mexican Body Bag
Since the Jazz are going to make the playoffs this month, I thought it would be a great idea to write about one of my favorite things in the world, the Utah Jazz. And since this is SLUG and it’s probably not ‘cool’ to like sports, I’ll keep the stats to a minimal so you
The Dark Side of Martial Arts
He got a running start and I’ll never forget what happened next: running full speed, he tripped over Emily Bradley, who was the first person kneeling down, and tumbled over all the other kids. … read more
The Drugs Made Me Do It
Man, I love writing and hearing stories about drug abuse. Especially LSD. Acid is such a silly drug to me. It’s like a kidney stone – so tiny, yet it can fuck you up so bad. … read more
Mike Brown: Dual Christmas!
To me, the true meaning of Christmas is getting presents. All of the other Baby Jesus stuff and loving thy neighbor and spending time with the family? Shit, man, I can do that any other time of the year. I don’t need some invisible Christmas spirit to do that stuff. … read more