Fistfuck Facebook

Fistfuck Facebook
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Facebooking fits well with the theme I gave my life for year number thirty, which is to become everything I’ve ever hated so I can find more things to like. So I bought a fixed-gear bike, an iPhone, and a couple of V-necks. Now I know how to update my FB status on the nations fastest 3G network while doing a track stand and exposing my three chest hairs … read more

Mike Brown: Things I Hate

Mike Brown: Things I Hate
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So Snuggles, the guy who’s been illustrating my articles as of late, suggested that I write about my favorite possessions, and that he would bring them to life via SLUG Magazine. I looked around my apartment for my favorite things and a massive writers block fell on my face. I’m sorry, Snuggles, but it’s so much easier for me to write about shit I hate. … read more

Mike Brown: Mormon Weddings

Mike Brown: Mormon Weddings
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Have you ever been to a Mormon wedding? Gosh, I sure have. Lots of them, because I come from a big, darn Mormon family. As a tribute to them, I will only use Mormon swears in this article. … read more

Mike Brown: My Afternoon at General Distributing

Mike Brown: My Afternoon at General Distributing
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I decided to head out to the local General Distributing plant to tour the facility and see if we could get any employees to drink with us. … read more

Drifting with Mike Brown

Drifting with Mike Brown
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At Drift Enterprise, they look for speed, angle consistency and how close you get to the clipping points without knocking over the cone. … read more

Mike Brown: The Worst Job I’ve Ever Had

Mike Brown: The Worst Job I’ve Ever Had
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Work sucks. Fuck work. When people ask me what I do for a living, I usually just say that I am a freelance capitalist. … read more

Mike Brown: State of Salt Lake Predictions

Mike Brown: State of Salt Lake Predictions
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Oh, what an interesting and convenient little bubble we live in here in Salt Lake City. I haven’t really noticed if this springtime breakup phenomenon is just isolated to places colder than here, but I’m keeping my eye on it. … read more

Mike Brown: A Gun For Valentine’s Day

Mike Brown: A Gun For Valentine’s Day
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I’ve been thinking about buying a gun lately. In these uncertain economic times, it seems like a rational decision. I guess crime is on the rise because of the recession, and protecting my assets with a new set of hollow points made sense, until I thought about it more. … read more

Mike Brown: Top 5 Music Genres I Hate

Mike Brown: Top 5 Music Genres I Hate
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I don’t know what it is about writing, but for me it’s usually much easier to write about all the things I hate. In the spirit of the yearly top fives I thought I would write about my most hated top five music genres. … read more

Mike Brown: Stupid Stupid Bernard

Mike Brown: Stupid Stupid Bernard
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Disclaimer: The following story is all true. The author, however, regardless of how much he likes to drink himself, does not condone the actions of Bernard. … read more